Planty of the Hamchuks

July 5 2026

Ok so I started a new audiobook, this one is by Suetonius, and the first section is a biography of Julius Caesar. What jumps out at me, at this particular point in time, was that here was a military guy. Suetonius doesn't describe him as a genius, just smart. Used scouts a lot to make certain he had good information, that they places the military was going they couldn't be ambushed. How he was relaxed with his troops when it wasn't Battle Time, but was very intense with them during Battle Time and would do things like get rid of their horses and try to trap them places so they would fight to the death instead of getting scared and running away. How he wouldn't compromise with those trying to get their military pay and leave. Won many battles across a large area. Expanded the Roman Empire. How he endlessly bribed his way out of countless situations and into new ones. Went through wives like they were toilet paper. Claimed any honor he could possible award himself or get awarded. Couldn't get over rumors of the gay lover and his balding head bothered him. And how the Roman Republican was just a stupid thing in his way so he was going to take his military and start a civil war because damnit he "deserved" to be emperor.

And you know Tumblr's favorite holiday, the Ides of March with Et tu Brutus and all that?

Those were SENATORS murdering him in at attempt to SAVE THE ROMAN REPUBLIC. They are the unsung attempted heroes in the story! Their original plan had been to murder him, throw the body in the river, and then undo all the terrible, Republic-destroying legislation he'd signed or gotten passed or whatever.

They failed!! After he was murdered, they left the body. Suetonius doesn't explain why. Eventually a few of his slaves came to pick the body up and put him on a litter, with one arm hanging down. Mourning and chaos started to break out, word spread that he'd been murdered, and a crowd ended up murdering a random innocent man who they'd thought had been in the plot. They put innocent man's head on a spear and paraded it around town.

The people who'd murdered Julius Caesar got into trouble (Suetonius is vague on that) and within 3 years, all were dead. The bad legislation was never undone, the Senate stayed useless while the Executive branch remained far, far too powerful. And fully fascist of course.