SAGE!

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

by the way you can be a girl, a boy, AND gender neutral, all at the same time

by the way you can be EVERY gender, all at the same time, just identifying as all of them

by the way you can be NO gender, yep, if you want; not even "nonbinary" if you don't want to

by the way you can be COMPLETELY a boy PLUS something else

by the way you can be COMPLETELY a girl PLUS something else

by the way you can be a gender themed after something that means a lot to you

by the way you can be a gender related to your neurodivergency

by the way you can be a gender related to your species (for alterhumans)

by the way you can be fluid between VERY specific genders

by the way you can be flux between one gender or another only

by the way you be completely one of the options above WHILE having a gender that fully contradicts it

by the way you can have a gender SPLIT between two or way more genders

by the way you can have your gender set to "just whatever I feel convenient to call myself" without being genderfluid

by the way you can have no label at all

by the way you can make up labels or just completely frankenstein genders together until somethings make you comfortable

irl, i live alone. irl, i am disabled. irl, that intersection and my lack of interest in partnering actively makes life really hard. everything is expensive. i can't always cook when i want to or have fresh ingredients, because my symptoms don't care if I want to cut up vegetables and eat something homemade before they go bad. if I have a bad flareup and getting up is not in the cards, that's it. i have what's next to me. the lack of social support for single folks, for disabled folks, for folks whose family care is inadequate or damaging... it's impactful.

I talk about how i once visited a place with an ex partner. i mention how our relationship started because i was pressured into it, and i wasn't really into the level of seriousness and 'forever' she treated it with. everyone says it's weird that i agreed if i didn't want it to be serious. i remember being 16, saying no, and a chorus of people telling me i was stupid and immature, that her family was rich, that we would be cute and to listen to them, not my heart. my heart was saying nothing.

i look at my current age and life goals. for many of my peers, dating and marriage and eventual kids are common goals. i am watching my rights erode and trying to practice good mental hygeine. my five year goal is to be alive. my next major life milestone is a nebulous desire to find a life i can tolerate living.

being aromantic significantly impacts my day to day. i want to see aro people living their lives, and doing so with joy. i want to see aro adults making it, ones like me. i want aro people to thrive. i want to live, aromantically.

We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.

There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:

A single income isn't enough to get by anymore

Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system

Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly

Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.