this might be a thing

if you vote me in as immortal all-powerful queen, i will make headaches illegal

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

date idea: i lay down on ur lap and you pet my head and tell me im not too much

everything is my fault except what isn’t. and that might be my fault too somehow

heartbreaking to me that nobody wanted to sign jeff BUT ALSO HE'S PLAYING IN SWITZERLAND #EMPLOYMENT

good morning. dont think about it too much!!!!

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

Ripping off the mask to catch a pop-up ball is the hottest thing a catcher can do