look out son

more

imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.

A shaggy dog story is a long, drawn-out, complicated story with an expectation-disappointing, basically pointless punchline. They became popular in the 50s, when my Dad learned to tell them. He loved them. They’re kind of like a jump story or The Song That Never Ends, or a rickroll for that matter, in that they’re essentially a trick played on the audience, pulling the rug out from under them.

@spence-does-life @nightwingdickrider

You obviously do not have to be a UK or Clacton citizen to do this poll it's not the actual bi election.

I just want to see what the world thinks

Flint: [brutally raw and yet also poetic monologue about the nature of colonial “civilization”]

[HARD CUT]

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.