¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A zoo but with no cages or fences just one big arena full of animals

...so like a safari then..?

i’m such a “wait don’t get out of the car yet, this is a good song” type of person

me whenever i look at everyone: why am i the only ugly person

If I was as sleepy at night as I am in the morning, and as awake in the morning as I am at night… I would be at least double as productive

0x2=0

Life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who doesn’t care about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything.

Reblog if you have used dude as a non gender specific term.

where I grew up in California not only is “dude” generally non-gender-specific, half of the time it doesn’t even refer to a person at all.

I said it to a faucet today. 

A customer once came to me to order a sandwich and said “I want this dude”

Dude is more than a word, it’s an emotion. 

dude is a way of life

I said it to my cup, my 8 m/o baby cousin, my mom, my brother, a friend (more like all), my phone, everything and everyone.

not to sound too millennial here but it annoys me so much when I’m at a restaurant and someone I’m with will complain about the service being slow like buddy pal it’s fine it’s not that important

You didn’t waited 40 minutes for a dinner before haven’t you?

i have but i also have, like, real problems

Not even my dog is excited to see me

Human beings are nothing more than a complex combination of protein, fat, calcium, water and sadness.

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful? me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

I’ve been laughing at this on and off for two straight days