Here's a shitty idea...

Toilets that motivate you to do better

Create a GoFundMe campaign to pay off the national debt

Hotelicopter

United flights

Buy 17 cats and a single litter box

APA formatting

Petition to bring back Internet Explorer

Instead of the 3 dots on iMessage, allow the other person to see exactly what you were typing (and deleting)

Roadside acupuncture with drug needles you find on the ground

Tumble dry everything you own

Require every US citizen to sign up for exactly one Facebook account and use it to vote 

Conserve energy by cooking your food with body heat

Self-diagnose all medical problems using the internet

During cold winters, have a zamboni ice the roads so that people can ice skate for free!