a study in horse boys, walking bloodbanks & gilded cages of endless possibility.
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lawyer freek: @pleadsfifth
todays bird

JVL

roma★

Discoholic 🪩
we're not kids anymore.
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if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin

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@bloodrodeo
a study in horse boys, walking bloodbanks & gilded cages of endless possibility.
rules. bio. stats. muse. face. memes. wc. headcanons. open starters. tunes. verses.
lawyer freek: @pleadsfifth

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"Nah." Levi mutters as if that answers anything. He doesn't actually know why he cares so much about who Trent has been kissing. It's not like Levi's joined a monastery and celibacy. He focuses on the throbbing in his palm so he doesn't say anything else insane. He wonders if he killed someone tonight and all he can worry about is who Trent has been seeing. Levi wants to shove him belly down in the bed of his truck. God, every thought in his head is wrong and he tries to blank them staring out the window but it's not working. His mind is stuck on loop of Trent saying that Levi could be kissing him instead. He can't actually. Doesn't Trent get that?
Trent and Levi are the same in the sense that anything thrown their way they don't like is ignored. Levi isn't asking as a friend because they're not even friends but he's not going to say that. Trent should know that. What they are is something else entirely. He's actually silently shocked that Trent even brought that night up and immediately his stomach starts to hurt. "Really?" Levi glances at Trent. The ache in his chest coils tight knowing how badly he hurt him. "Been wondering if you were okay." Levi huffs out like it pains him to admit. All he's been fucking thinking about is Trent. Every motion he's gone through has lead up to this moment that wasn't even a certainty.
Laughter fills the silence of the truck as he shakes his head. He wants to strangle him for bringing her up -he hates being so easy to read. Levi doesn't even think about her anymore in context of Trent. Instead it's Texas and everyone who meant something to him there. Levi glances ahead as their speed picks up and pictures a tire blowing off and the truck spinning out. Rolling over. At least then they could rot together. "Tricks are getting more stingy by the day." That's how he's been. He reaches over and pries Trent's hand off the wheel to press his bloody palm into his. "I missed you."
He steals a glance over at him, snorts out a clipped laugh, mouth easing into something less tense with a little more smile in it. "All right, cool guy." Trent knows, though — that they'll end up tangled up in bed together, and wonders who they'll be with the lights low with the city a skyline blip in the distant horizon. If they'll be kinder, curled up the way wolves do, subsumed to a dreamless sleep, or if it'll be like before — or before before: summer, unabashed, pool, French exit, laughter into open mouths, thoughtful, not quite. His toes curl against the sole of his shoes, because he wants him so much, Levi, with his strong arms and scowl.
He bristles at Levi's concern, and it's immediate and scalding, the heat that shoots up his neck and onto his cheeks. It's embarrassing, he thinks — humiliating even. "Nah, it's not — I'm good." Levi can touch him any way he likes, it will never hurt. Love is clawing for breath, crying in his doorway. And he'd missed the bruises all the same. It had messed him up because he'd wanted to be infected by Levi, and instead he ended up clean of him. Alone, with nothing to show for it. "You didn't do nothin' wrong." He says softly, promising. It had just felt like a bad breakup, where he couldn't do anything else but think of him, couldn't make sense of it. But he always knew he'd get him back.
He grins, relishes in the not-so familiar sound of Levi's laughter. He could die right now and he'd be thanking God for having that be the last thing he heard. "You don't need 'em." Trent says, just like the tricks Levi's told him about, the ones who say they'll whisk him far away from here and lavish him with endless gifts. But Levi's in his truck, not theirs. He glances at their hands, so easily entwined. He doesn't actually think he's held it before, not like this — maybe pulling each other out of the crowd from the club, or on their friends' shoulders, wrestling in the pool, but — he brings it up to his eyeline, inspects his knuckles, a little battered and bruised, then presses a gentle kiss to it. "Do they hurt?"
There's this warm sensation of doom washing over him the further the city gets behind them. It's familiar and strangely comforting. Levi's spent most of his life on edge and the set of his teeth has his jaw tense but it's normal. Levi doesn't know if this is a case of the blind leading the blind or something worse. He wants to hold Trent's hand but he doesn't. He squeezes the tooth into his palm sure to leave the indent behind. Wherever they go will be better than here at least. They'll have each other until they fight again. Until Levi's shoving Trent away and making him leave. Until Trent finds someone worth staying in one place for. Levi knows that it could never be him -he's bringing Trent to them.
One day it'll be okay and there won't be this hollowed out pit in his chest whenever he imagines what he and Trent could be if they were both different people. Levi's getting mad and it only releases the moment the tooth starts to cut into his palm. He tosses it back into the cupholder.
"You don't want to kiss anymore." Levi tells him like it's a fact. "Been kissing someone else." He mutters as he presses a Skittle between his teeth. It coats his mouth to rid him of the metallic taste. It'll be nice to wear the robes and get in the hot tub and pretend they're other people. Levi's gaze follows the pass of each headlight as he imagines them getting hit head on. He keeps trying to picture it like some sort of premonition like he's on some Final Destination shit. "There's a lot of things I want you to do." Levi smiles as he keeps his eyes on the road. He wishes he was the one driving. "What were you doing when we were apart? Who were you with?"
He doesn't know if this is comfortable silence, though Levi answers that for him, puncturing the quiet with a question that feels like he's being thrown in the deep end; sat in the driver's seat with the window cracked, water trickling in. It was only a matter of time, he supposes. "You spend more so much time thinkin' 'bout me kissin' other people when you could jus' be kissin' me." He comments lightly, a joke or an observation or a fact, he's not sure. Trent doesn't want to fight. It won't change anything if they do —- it doesn't matter to him how angry Levi is when he falls asleep as long as he's still there in the morning, but he doesn't want him to feel this way.
"Are you askin' as a friend?" Which is the same as saying that Levi's asking like he's his boyfriend and Trent's already in the doghouse. They are, each other's, so maybe the accusatory tone is warranted. "A whole lotta nothin' if I'm bein' honest with you. I felt all sorts of fucked up over what happened between us. Jus' couldn't get my head on straight about it." He still feels a little like this, but Levi's presence is an immediate salve, soothed by his tense little gestures, his pointed jibes, the weight of his truck with him in the passenger seat. It's all good, as long as he's here.
He doesn't answer the question, because he doesn't want to fight, but he can offer a consolation prize. "I haven’t seen my ex if that's what you were askin'." His foot unconsciously heavies on the gas, he iust wants to be there already - in a five-star hotel with robes and champagne buckets and make-believe. “How have you been? How are your friends?”
💬
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share three texts my muse typed but never sent yours.
💬levi
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share three texts my muse typed but never sent yours.

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💬cas
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share three texts my muse typed but never sent yours.
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share three texts my muse typed but never sent yours.
💬😁
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share three texts my muse typed but never sent yours. @bloodrodeo
Cassell just nods his contentment because there ain't shit to say but he's still pleased. He needs Trent to know that he's pleased because it's rare that he gives in like that. "I said that? Run back the tape." He shakes his head laughing because now why the fuck would he say that? This could have all been settled if Trent just dropped him off at his hotel. Now he's here half melted to Trent's couch getting his ass beat by some old ass weed. His brows knit together the moment that Trent is pulling him up. Why's it seem so easy? That's sort of pissing him off. Still he moves easily through Trent's place his gaze catches on the guest room door before they're slipping through to Trent's room. "Hey." Cas calls out helplessly as he sprawls out next to Trent. He tries not to touch him but it's sort of hopeless. "What was in that weed?"
"What d'you need receipts for? You don't trust me?" He hits back, voice pitched high in disbelief, cracking on the tail-end because the weed's made his throat feel all dry and funny. The bed feels nice underneath him, the duvet cover so soft in his palms, like velvet, the mattress a cloud. His eyes close instinctively, then open again, because he doesn't want to even consider falling asleep. He rolls over to his side, makes himself less comfy so the drowsiness doesn't tiptoe in. He'd like to tangle their legs together. "How am I meant to know? Told you I don' smoke. It ain't mine." Which sounds sus, but he just means someone left it at his place and never asked for it back so he stashed it. "You smell good." Trent compliments, staring at his cheek. So soft, maybe as soft as the duvet.
that finally got a laugh out of ira. a real one too, low and warm, shaking his shoulders as he ducked back under the hood. "man, if your grand plan was admit she was right and hope for the best, i think that's about as solid a strategy as any man has ever come up with." he reached for another tool without looking. "most relationships are just two people takin' turns bein' right about different things." the next question earned a longer pause. ira straightened, resting a forearm against the truck as he studied trent for a second. "you are askin' the wrong fella." his accent thickened around the words. "i fix engines. human beings are a hell of a lot more complicated." still, he considered it. "but if somebody says they don't wanna see your ass anymore, i generally take 'em at their word. AT LEAST for a day or two." a grin tugged at one corner of his mouth. "now, whether she actually means it? couldn't tell ya.folks say all kinds of things when they're mad." the omen comment made him snort. "ain't an omen. it's deferred maintenance." he pointed the wrench at him. "you city boys are ALWAYS lookin' for signs from the universe. sometimes the universe is just a radiator leak." then trent asked if he wants anything, and for a second ira looked genuinely caught off guard by it. "nah." he shook his head. "appreciate it, though." a beat passed before his mouth quirked. "actually, if you're dead set on spendin' money, grab me one of them terrible gas station coffees from across the street. the kind that tastes like it was brewed sometime during the last presidential administration." he nodded toward the door. "and don't call your ex while you're gone. give both of y'all a chance to cool off before one of you says somethin' you'll spend the next six months apologizin' for." the grin widened. "trust me. that's a repair bill i can't help with."
The type of laugh that rumbles out of him, warm and honeyed, lights Trent up — something gleaming in his eyes, as if pleased to have gotten that out of him. "I'm a simple man. Was gon' pick up flowers on the way too if you can get her workin'." He's never met a woman that doesn't like flowers, and he's got a knack for picking them. Talks up the florist like his life's depending on it. Sometimes it feels like it does — it, meaning everything, all means so much to him. Feels world-ending when his girl's mad at him. Even though she's not his girl. Least not right now. "You make it sound romantic when you put it like that." Or maybe it's just the way he says it.
That, he delights in, sees an in to be annoying which he'll always take, bit like a horse with a carrot dangling in front of him. "Wrong fella? Buddy, you got, like, that wisdom in you. If you're seein' someone they're real lucky and if you ain't you gotta let me know and for real let me set you up. I got this friend who goes crazy over dudes like you." Mostly guys that do manual labour, something something men used to go to war now they're lining up outside Chrome Hearts an' posting Insta dumps to Dr.ake's new album.
"I ain't a city boy!" He defends, though he moves like one. The only calluses on his hands come from a horse's reins, but he can't fix things and an Ikea instruction manual fucks him up.
He's pleased that Ira accepts the offer, 'cos half of Southern hospitality is accepting it. "Sure thing, boss." Crazy order but he bites his tongue because that's the guy fixing his car. "Cream? Sugar?"
Trent's going to call his ex, but he has to give it to Ira, something about the way he says it, for a split-second, makes him think he won't. But he knows himself. He knows he will. Still, he appreciates Ira for that, thinks he might be unharnessed magic, that if he wielded it like the supreme wizard in the weird fantasy books Luke's always reading, then Ira could make anyone do anything they want. Of course, Trent doesn't say this aloud.

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zaire huffs out a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious under trent's gaze. "yeah? well, that's what happens when you don't see someone for half your life." the joke lands softer than he intends. for a moment, zaire just stares at trent, trying to reconcile the man standing in front of him with the kid who used to know everything about him. "you don't look that different though," he admits quietly. "maybe older. a little grumpier." he jokes, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "still would've recoginzed you anywhere, though." the words slip out before he can stop them, and he glances away toward the bar, swallowing hard. "never thought i'd actually have to, though."
A small laugh that's all air slips out of him. He wants to be funny and unaffected about it — because Zaire's not wrong. It's been too long to be petty. They're grown now. With adult jobs and adult problems. Still, his heart twists thinking of them younger, when they'd thought they'd known everything but realized all he'd known was that the first cut is the deepest. He inhales, balances out. "Yeah?" His brows raise, gestures to his forehead, the shallow lines that deepen when he makes a face like that, "Got wrinkles now. Next time you see me I'll have one of them walkin' sticks." If they're gonna make meeting every decade a habit. His mouth quirks, a sort-of olive branch. Trent's always been too soft, and age hasn't hardened him none, bares the soft underbelly like a dog on his back, preening for a little bit of affection. His head cocks, a little sad about, because those two sentiments are true for him too: that he'd know Zaire anywhere, that he didn't think he'd ever see him again. "You imagined it then?" Me, he doesn't say. "Does it live up to what was in your head?"
Poem by Denis Johnson
Cassell keeps on staring because he has an excuse now. His eyes are heavy and his chests gone all warm. He doesn't care if Trent calls him out he's got an answer for everything locked and loaded. Now he's just got to hope he can remember it if he needs to. "Everyone." Cas repeats back but he sort of already forgets what they're talking about. Zodiac signs and crying he thinks. "Surprised you know it's a bull." He admits honestly but there's pleasure glinting in his gaze that he does. Cas had also thought it was prophetic too and he carries it close to his chest. Trent's sucky boy face makes Cas want to coo at him. Something high pitched and sweet he'd use on a dog or one of his teammates babies. "Did we say that? I don't remember that part. Can we go lay down at least?"
"I know things." He says, with an uncharacteristically smug smile on his mouth. Half the bulls in the pens over the years wear named Taurus. And it was the name of maybe one of the greatest Monster Trucks in history, and it wasn't why he got his Silverado but...the driver, Jack-something, didn't believe in zodiac signs. "You did." He insists, but he's not quite sure either. Trent hauls himself up from the couch, and his limbs feel a little heavy, like he's getting out of a pool with all his clothes on. He pulls Cas up without really thinking, because thinks that Cas's limbs might also feel heavy, though he's not sure because maybe Cas smokes more. Then he pads back into his apartment, intentionally to his own room, because he's scared to see if the guest room bed even has sheets on it, and if it doesn't he doesn't want to deal with it right now. Just needs a few minutes, he thinks sprawls across the mattress.
oh, shit. part of jay was hoping that they hadn't met before, if only because his best guess is now that this guy was a hook-up from who knows how long ago — more importantly, who knows how drunk ago. or high, or even more ( upsettingly ) likely, both. he comes to this conclusion primarily based on how attracted he is to him, and trent won't know it from his expression, but whatever he's doing is working. the longer he looks at him, the more blips of memories; sights of that face, ghost sensations of those lips on him. "...i think we hooked up," he says abruptly, eyebrows shot up, head tilting the other way now. "i know your face. fuckin' gorgeous. name... not so much. remind me?"
A smile wobbles on his mouth, a slow nod to pair. "Yeah." Trent's not trying to feel any sort of way about it, but he's sober and raw-dogging an interaction he's usually on the other end of. He inhales a heaping breath, resets. "You don't gotta do that. Flatter me." Trent insists. "Trent." He supplies, before dapping him up because what else is he going to do with a guy who forgot they had sex? Try and sleep with him again? Well, probably. Because now he feels like he's got something to prove. "So how you been Jay?" Says their name just so he knows that he knows.
"'course i look cute in it. i look cute in anything." Splenda boasts in a tone that suggests he knows he's right. He pauses, just long enough to get his shirt up over his head and then discard it to the side. He glances back over his shoulder again, smile wide. "you gonna bend me over, baby? just push my skirt up enough to get your dick in me?"
He doesn't sound opposed to this at all, actually. "you're so desperate. that's what's cute."
"Yeah? I don't believe it. We're gon' have to see each other again so you can prove it to me." He knows what this is; a fling, a one-night stand — but he's always trying to make it not. Pre-nut clarity or something, he's backwards about it all. Eyes cling to his back, thinks about coming there. Her question make him groan. And yeah, he is desperate. Lifts his hips to under the button of his jeans while simultaneously reaching into his back pocket for a condom. Rips the foil with his teeth. "Is this okay?" He asks, just to make sure.

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Angel's smile only grows at Trent's decision. She lives to please, above all else, and this too, for her, would be a pleasure. She leans forward, presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Trent's lips, and then pulls away again. "i think you'll enjoy the sight, darling."
She shifts then, down off the couch and onto her knees. She only pauses a moment to pull her hair back into a quick and messy bun, watching Trent as she does. A moment later, her hands rest on his inner thighs, spreading his legs apart. She leans in, laying her cheek on his thigh, and softly presses her face against his cock, still in his jeans, and gives a delighted little laugh.
"you are excited."
A lax, blissed-out smile pulls out his mouth, rosy and wet like he'd just devoured a punnet of overripe strawberries. Feels like summer, hot and sticky, and his mind can't form the thoughts to ponder how he got this lucky. "You look beautiful." He says. It's something Trent tells her often, because she's the type of friend that it's impossible not to say it to.
His legs kick open, and his hips grind down into the couch cushions some, because he wasn't lying when he'd said it's been a while. His cheeks have a warm, a couple drinks in, flush to them, her laugh lilting. He sits up for a moment, just to reach for her, hand cradling the nape of her neck, pushing her face up against the hard outline of his dick. "You like that?" Trent asks. The friction of her face up against his jeans isn't unpleasant, at least not yet. He sort of likes it, makes it last longer. He wants her like this as long as possible.
They're going to die like this and Levi has never felt more certain of that then he has now that they've kissed. Sealed the deal. He's almost giddy with the realization and of what he's not even certain. There's something hot coiling in his guts, stomach rolling as he sits in the passenger seat and wonders where they'll end up. How long they'll last. If he'll have to find tricks in every city to make them money. He would. He'd do anything for Trent. Anything to make everything between them okay again. Like that Fourth of July party and Trent's damp, cold skin pressed against his own. Or the club where he promised to take Trent to Miami next time. It never happened.
No one can get in he realizes as he glances out the window. It's just them in their bubble hidden from the world. Trent's the other half of his soul. Ripped apart and left to wander until they found each other. He doesn't know if Trent is happy but his words fill the silence. Just him and the engine and the cars passing with people who have no idea he's hurt Trent. Would Trent ever leave him if he could? Would he dump Levi on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere? The thought makes him shift in his seat, squeeze his thighs together, he's so fucked in the head he tries to focus on the rattle of the teeth.
"Do you want to? You pick." Levi says it as if he's this sweet boyfriend offering just the best for his girlfriend. A treat for the two of them. "You wanna get drunk and drown in the hot tub." Levi sighs softly. He wants to drink and drown in the hot tub. It would serve him right for the hotel staff to find his body floating in the morning. "I have a few cards." Levi reaches his hand into the cupholder and pulls out one of the teeth. Turns it over in his fingers before he glances at Trent. "You'd swallow this if I told you to right?"
"Okay." He says excitedly, a pursed-lip grin trying to hide the fact of being spoiled as humbly as possible. They'll drive for a couple of hours, put a bit of distance between them and this city — it's not that they're running away, but he doesn't want the possibility of them going back, not easily anyways. A new state will be a blank, fresh, slate. They'll be able to do anything they want to do. Trent, now that he's back with Levi, will be able to think about what he wants to do. His mind had been foggy in the time they'd been apart, and he's glad to be able to think right again.
"Gonna get wasted." He agrees, as if that's not what he's been doing anyways. Trent decidedly does not want to drown in the hot tub. In the same thought he wonders if Levi would hold his head down when he starts to flail like a fish. Then he thinks absurdly, that Levi is the only person he could kill. That no one else has or ever will matter enough to do something so terrible to, except Levi. It makes him sick. Still loves him wrongly, but can't figure out what to do about it.
"We'll wear the robes, and order room service, and maybe kiss some more." He lists off in a sing-song voice, a version that doesn't feel like them now but once was, and if he pretends hard enough it will be. He wants it to be. They should pay cash. Trent doesn't have any. Levi's much better with his money than Trent is, probably because Levi doesn't spend his own. He glances at the tooth, the way it glints under the reach of white headlights cast from cars cruising down the opposite side of the freeway. He doesn't realize he's not smiling anymore, a small furrow in his brow, confused. "Maybe. Only if you wanted me to." It makes more sense to do something because Levi wants him to, rather than doing something just because he tells him to.