every ad: hey, im a candid, friendly, conventionally attractive young adult. money is hard right now! have you heard of gambling?

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

"ingredients you can pronounce" learn phonics. coward.

once i am perfect in every conceivable way i will be happy i can feel it

Apparently saying “Are you open to feedback?” is not considered a polite thing to say when someone tells you they’re moving in with the partner they met 2 months ago.

“Can’t you just be happy for me?” I don’t do improv acting

we need non cancerous cigarettes to give to women so they look hot. men get the normal kind

the left testicle is for logic and forward thinking and the right testicle is for creativity and art

if you see beauty in something don’t wait for others to agree

one thing about me is I’m going to make weird noises about it

Any idiot can like something thats good. It takes a real genius to like things that suck ass