everything feels bad

wish i could have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation! not because i wanted to hear it or anything but because i'd be a lil buuuuug

Not sure how this works when shark skin is so incredibly smooth

(second century warlord making a joke at the expense of those who lived in the past) first day as a first century warlord: i can’t write anything down cause paper hasn’t been invented yet

does that warlord not know about papyrus

no, undertale hadn't been invented yet either

is anyone here ready for fat transgender summer can we give it up for fat transgender summer

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice

the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice

thinking about the “foogoo state” post