VIVRE

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

i don’t think mordecai and rigby were ever gay for each other but i do think many times rigby would be like dude if i was a girl would you want to fuck me and mordecai is like dude that’s weird. no. and rigby is all bent out of shape about it and in the middle of the night when they’re both trying to sleep he’s like why wouldn’t you fuck me if i was a girl. i’m cute right? or am i ugly and that’s why i’m single… and mordecai is like fine whatever i’d fuck girl you. stop bringing it up now. & the next day rigby is like fuck off muscle man i’m not ugly mordecai said he’d fuck girl me & then a portal opens to an alternate dimension where they’re genderbent like that adventure time episode and the voice of god is like mordecai you must make good on your word. fuck girl rigby.

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

Honestly making new friends in my late 20s early 30s has in some ways been indistinguishable from dating except the courtship period is not romantic or sexual. I think people need to revisit the art of flirting in a friend way…like presenting your best self to a person and genuinely glowing when they return the gesture. And letting people influence and change you and getting excited when you have a chance to talk to them. That’s what makes getting to know someone fun in the first place…everyone in those advice threads about how to befriend people is basically describing how to have Coworkers not friends. “Go to a bar and hang out and start a conversation” you can do this but you have to follow up the first encounter with putting your best foot forward instead of just listlessly hoping for the social approval of the other party!!!!

every day it gets harder to have a relaxed jaw and decent posture

the sandwich with no words is so uncanny. Its like its staring at me, like I was never supposed to peel back the text.

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

they only figured out what happened when they noticed it blushing and smoking a cigarette and saw my footprints in the sand running away

looks great!

Impossible to not read this in an Australian accent

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

hey staff what the fuck

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose