Like if you think

des

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wait a second that's the fucker from decrease the increase

whoever made that post that's like "depressed people aren't listening to sad music they're listening to wild ones by flo rida at 7 in the morning" has ruined my life. sitting in my car outside work right now feeling like shit emotionally but at least hollaback girl is playing on the radio

this shit is bananas.

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

bitches think they know what the post about whole time i was vagueposting my grandma

Thats crazy dude mind if i join you

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

500 MILES?!?!?!

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln