congraturaisins

youre an olympic level hater. i respect it.

I dodge from cover to cover to avoid the fighting. My fingers pulse with pain, my ribs hurt as my heart throbs in my chest, my throat and eyes burn with smoke, but the last thing I need is a coughing fit. Even so, I run, dodging knights and soldiers both as I move toward the beach— A blade flashes in a knight’s hand and takes off the top of the skull of a soldier in front of me. The whole action is so quick that it takes me a good half-second to realize that his head isn’t supposed to go that way, and that the man is now very dead. His killer bears down on me, sword turning in hand as his unicorn charges forward. I emit a small, barely audible squeal of protest, and then the very sun seems to dim— A heartbeat later, the knight, his unicorn, and I are all being jerked rudely upwards in a cage of scaly talons. The knight seems just as surprised by this development as I, and as for the unicorn…two giant claws pierce directly into its flank, its lifeless hooves dangling toward the increasingly distant ground.

divert all power to the funk engine