what are the haps

Yaaaaay now your baby can stomp on people with you! ^_^

My video game is out todaeo-game!

It's SHOULD* be out on all current consoles for $19 USD! And it's a sweet sweet metroid-vania, so it's good second screen material, lol. I hope you like it, the developer Hero Concept did a swell job putting this together. Enjoy da game!

I wrote a whole reply and it got completely eaten! No draft or anything! Nightmare.

I'm skimming the basics you already know (read more, write more, stop waiting for inspiration, skimp on speech tags and use said as often as possible when you have to, spend as much time editing as writing) to give you an abridged version of advice I'm obsessed with that I call Total the Car. (I didn't coin this idea, but I may be the only one who ever talks about it. Forgive me if you've heard this lecture before.)

This advice references Ryan North's excellent Tumblr blog, BttF, on which he did a page by page reading of the novelization of Back to the Future. Ryan North is a very funny guy, and so it's an entertaining read, but it is also educational. Back to the Future is one of the tightest screenplays ever written, and the novel is a strange, meandering mess, made more so by the idiosyncrasies of its author and the likely fact that it was based on an earlier draft of the a screenplay. This allows us to compare and contrast the two works.

Early on in the story, Biff Tannen wrecks George's car. In the novelization, Gipe calls the car "nearly totaled," which causes Ryan to melt down; why nearly total the car? What value does the car have not being utterly totaled? The state of the car is mostly irrelevant. "Total the car!" Ryan says, on his blog. "You're the writer! You have the power! Total the car!"

I love this advice. I think writers often get bogged down in details like this; we're married to realism, or some research we did, or we think that going that far will be "too much," and so we rob our scenes of their own power. The phrase "nearly totaled" is not only weaker - it lacks the emotional gut punch - but it also raises questions where there should be none.

I think, when making a choice like this in writing, you should always err on the side of totaling the car. Kill the survivors. Burn the house to the ground. Make it harder on yourself. On your characters.

Stories don't happen in the almosts. They exist in the things that happen, the things that can't be undone. I love forcing people to go through a piece and circle every "almost" and "nearly" and "started to," and force them to write the piece that would have happened if there had been less restraint.

Bizarre Mario Paint illustration used as an example image for the game's creative applications in a 1994 Japanese Nintendo product catalog.