What I Think>What I Say

You and this perfect person who you’ve never met before, to come out of nowhere, fit your life perfectly, complete you and make you whole for the first time in your life, much like your mother did for me.”

And even though what he said sounds sweet or whatever, what it manifested in my seven-year-old brain was this, “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

And that’s not just something my dad made me feel, that’s something that we as a society have made every single child born in the last 40 years feel. Every Disney princess has a prince, every prince has a princess, every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesn’t want to be in a relationship. They’re happy with who they are. But then by the end of the series, guess what. They were wrong! They were wrong for wanting to be alone, what a fucking idiot. Everyone needs someone, yeah. It’s all to do with love.

And when you raise children in that world, where everything points towards love, when you’ve raised them for 18 fucking years, when we become an adult for the first time in our late teens and our early 20s, we’re so terrified. We’re so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece, and just fucking jam them into our jigsaws anyway, denying that they clearly don’t fit. I’m gonna force this fucking person into our lives, because we’d much rather have something than nothing.

Then five years later, you’re stood looking at a jigsaw you don’t recognize, being like, “Ah! There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this.” And in that moment you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Do I waste the rest of my life?

My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that they’re willing to give up the one they are currently living. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than the person they are with. The worst thing you can do with your life is spend it with the wrong human being.

by Comicname

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

It’s so hard right now.

You can have the experience, education, proper resume and still either get ghosted, rejected, or led on.

I got laid off from my job in January and I’ve had 1 single interview in 6 months despite applying for HUNDREDS of jobs. Don’t listen to people who say that everything is fine in the job market, it is not. I promise no one is exaggerating how hard it is out here.

Not to mention never knowing if a job listing is real or just something the company is posting so they can say to everyone that there are ‘open’ positions when that’s all a lie. The 1 interview I had they explained the job duties and it was nothing like what the listing said it was.

Plus I’m getting desperate. Unemployment is a start but it only covers 75% of my bare minimum expenses. (and don’t even talk to me about the constant fear of having a medical problem because no job means no insurance) I need SOMETHING so that I can afford to eat and pay rent.

10h

Then the company got a new CEO that is obsessed with growth. I went to what I thought was my annual performance review and it was actually them laying me off. I have no proof, but I think that every department was told to get rid of someone to cut costs. Now they’re hiring more people with more specific ‘expertise.’ These are things I could have done with a little professional development and investment in me a potential long term employee.

So no. I will not be going back there. The company I worked for in the beginning no longer exists. It has become consumed with the idea of growth to make more money for the investment firm that owns it.