This is gonna sound a little obsessive...

(I also did not realize Ilya was trying to ask about Rose)

TW: Depression

he figured it out during the hookup era when ilya mentions some minuscule strange habit. he looks it up and goes down a quora rabbit hole. he sees people talking about autism and looks up the diagnostic criteria. fits like a damn glove. so he knows. he doesn't want to be high maintenance, and he assumes his needs being met is too much.

the orthorexia is different.

shane knows that his unwillingness to get better is "burdening" ilya. he knows that it's going to kill him. he knows it's ruining his body and the constant dizziness shouldn't be normal, he should be worried, but he isn't. he can't bring himself to tone it down. to let himself eat. eventually he lets it evolve into a punishment for himself, water fasting on days when he feels hes messed up. his definition of that slowly gets more vague. waking up late, going to bed late. under a nutrient goal, over a nutrient goal. he becomes so obsessive and his safe food circle so small that anorexia starts manifesting, and that ilya and/or yuna have/has to sit him down and tell him he needs to see a specialist or, if it doesn't help, they might have to admit him to a hospital. This freaks him out. he spends an entire night off and on shaking because the meal replacement shakes at hospitals are processed.

"This is my daddy Shanebug and my Papa Asshole" 🌈😾😺💓

Also for anyone wondering most of the posts I use for these I find in HuffPost’s various collections of posts (usually couples, women, and pets)

In his rookie years he didn’t even notice it, it was just his way of being. He never bit his tongue during a game though, which quite a few of his teammates couldn’t say for themselves. It helped him focus, wearing his mouth guard was usually enough to help mitigate the headaches he would get from grinding them during games.

When Ilya moved in the man clocked it almost immediately, how his lovers jaw was hinged so tight that he could see the muscles bulging from his jaw. Ilya was no dentist, but he knew that wasn’t normal.

Shane went to the dentist every six months of course, if not sooner. You took a lot of hits to the face in his line of work so he’d go and get checked out if he got knocked around especially hard. The dentist never said anything, and Shane never complained about the headaches and jaw pain.

Ilya would often massage Shane’s jaw when his boyfriend laid his head in his lap hoping to get him to relax even just a bit. “Doesn’t it feel better when you don’t do that with your face?” He’d ask and all he would get in return was a scrunched face and being cursed at for being a jerk by Shane before he laughed and turned over, giving that familiar fond grin.

Eventually Ilya decided he needed to be more direct. “Shane. Your face hurts because you squeeze your teeth.” He explained tapping a foot against the floor impatiently. Shane had been complaining much more recently about his headaches and most importantly: a clicking that began on the right side of his jaw.

One long dentist appointment later Shane was diagnosed wirh TMJ. He was given a mouth guard to sleep with at night but he couldn’t sleep with it in. Ilya had his own plan on his to relax his man’s jaw.

On long weekends Shane would often be nestled between Ilya’s legs on the floor, a cushion under his legs so he wouldn’t get sore and Ilya’s cock nestled neatly between his jaws. It seemed to be the only way to get his baby to relax, open his mouth and let the tension to. Most of the time Ilya wasn’t even hard. Just his soft cock resting in Shane’s mouth. The brunette never complained either, sitting in a nice floaty headspace during the whole ordeal and feeling surprisingly refreshed by his next practice.

https://www.tumblr.com/totearup/825031983184904192/i-hope-shane-really-realizes-how-much-he-lost-and?source=share

💀

From the original post

"I hope Shane really realizes how much he lost and crashing out."

"Give me Ilya realizing how much Shane gave up for him and feeling horrible."

"Probably Shane masks how depressed he's feeling about his losses and Ilya is just so excited to be out and together that he doesn't notice until the crash out."

You guys realize you are just describing The Long Game beat for beat with the roles reversed right?

Do you know you're doing that? Because I feel like you might not know you're doing that.

I think everyone knows actually. And the problem people have with TLG is precisely the lack of “reverse”. Only one person is allowed to have this “crash out”, to process this loss, to feel angry at being under appreciated by their partner and to have their partner change.

Let’s see Ilya’s “loss”. Again, the move from Boston was initiated BY HIM, at a time of his choosing, for a goal that’s important to him, which is Canadian citizenship. He is on pathway to fulfilling PR requirements for Canada, so his primary goal for the move was reached. He’s captain, first line center and gets paid what he’s worth. At the time he chose to leave Boston, his relationship with the team was presumably fine, and he had a year to prepare for the move. His relationships with his Boston teammates were in his hands and not totally out of his control. He had a new supportive network in the Hollanders and new best friends in his teammates. His primary loss, and what hit him hard was no longer contending for cups, no longer breaking records or winning awards. And it was an unexpected loss because at the time he chose the move, there were no indications that Ottawa was that bad (and in fact in TLG, they had a great team where turning things around was only a matter of time). Everyone was supposed to recognize what a huge loss that is. His crash out was seen as well deserved, and Shane was expected to reflect on how unappreciative and selfish he was despite checking in with him all the time, suggesting that he sees a therapist and making all these long drives to spend time with him. Shane was the one who was supposed to change.

Let’s look at Shane. He was no longer captain, no longer first line center, no longer paid what he’s due. He was also no longer part of the cup winning team he helped build. He was ostracized by his teammates and essentially forced into a move. One of his new teammates is somebody who spent years throwing slurs at him. Is he allowed to have a crash out? Is he allowed to expect some basic empathy from his own husband? No. All of this is treated as no big deal or even a joke. HE is expected to treat this as no big deal.

Let’s look at Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs: physiological needs (food, water, shelter, etc), safety (freedom from physical and psychological threats), love and belonging (intimacy, acceptance, community), esteem needs (achievement, recognition, status, feeling valued by others) and self-actualization (realizing potential, personal growth, becoming the person you want to become). Ilya is basically seen as a human being where all these needs are recognized and it’s fine for him to crash out if they’re not met. Shane is basically not allowed to care about aspects of safety, love and belonging, esteem and self recognition, something ALL human beings value. The very essence of his humanity gets cored out within this relationship and book to make a “happily ever after” happen for Ilya.