RudeBreadRolls

sourdough STOPPER. fuck ur bread.

sorry im late i got tied with rope to train tracks and it was this whole thing

in the mission control room hearing my veteran pilot snarl "I won't go down to some nobody!" into the comms and putting my head in my hands because now that he said that he's absolutely going to die to this oddly skilled random upstart in a standard issue infantry mech

"I literally don't care. I just wanna live." like really unlocked something in me. About house centipedes, about bugs, about me.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that's a beautiful use of free will

"people who don't wear headphones in public are a nuisance" except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit

til the room smells like things might actually be ok in the end

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY