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I post with my long and creepy finger

Sound ON

and neither of them are actually hiring

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

seconding these tags by @ragsy: #if the social consciousness has decided that duckduckgo is the Only Othet Search Engine#might i suggest 'go duck yourself'

if pjackk can return from the dead then maybe there is hope for us all

got bad news.

can I just freeze time so I can stay in bed forever

Just letting everyone know I’m reading a book right now. I also drank 7 glasses of water yesterday. Im not saying explicitly that I’m a better person than you, but it is heavily heavily implied. Heaven is going to be awesome!

a girl bit me so hard new pronouns appeared in bio

there are so many Sherlock Holmes adaptations that are like don't worry! there's no watson here :-) and I'm like. why the fuck would I want no Watson. give me Watson back I MISS him(/her/them)

I was 12 years old in 2011.... you could NEVER make me hate stomp clap hey music

they're selling anti-ai slogans on sweatshop-produced t-shirts. i don't need to write the poem for you to get it do i

*talking loudly to my fat golf friends* now jeez… chevy chase. if he had a pussy i would lay him out like pizza dough