(She/her, 18+) Not many people in my family know I'm aro/ace, so I've come here to be myself. I don't really know what I'm doing with this blog. Expect to see a lot of stuff related to aro and/or ace things and whatever fandom(s) I'm currently in.
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like as a feminist and an asexual if you ever imply that not having sex / not having "enough" of it is a conservative or reactionary trait I will be running you over with a bus pronto
you do not need to have sex ever. if you don't want to then you can just not do it. you don't need to have sex in order to mature as a person. you don't need to have sex to prove that you don't think it's immoral. you don't need to have sex to be a good partner. you don't need to have sex to be physically and/or mentally healthy. all of these goals can be achieved by hundreds of means other than sex. you can chose to do it for any reason you want, but you can also chose not to do it for any reason you want, including just not really feeling like it at any given time in any situation. the only thing not having sex says about your life and character is that you decided not to have sex. you can really really just not do it and that will be 1000x better for you in every conceivable way than making yourself do it when you don't want to.
Brazil legislation: Digital Statute For Children And Adolescents
Apple App Store Age Verification
These are not tumblr specific policies. Tumblr is implementing age verification in response to legislative moves that were made months ago.
Tumblr is a failing social media site that has escaped death multiple times already; they do not have the social cachet to defy state regulatory agencies. We know they won't say no to Apple, either--the porn ban on tumblr was in response to Apple's crackdown on explicit content.
If you did not know this was happening, you were behind the curve. That is fine. You're caught up now. The next step is to link up with people in your country who are working to preserve privacy, to roll back these laws where they exist, and to prevent their passage where they do not. In the US the organization you want is Stop KOSA--in the EU you can start with Fight Chat Control.
Repealing ID verification and blocking chat control will help everyone, especially the most vulnerable. We can push this back, but we cannot get it done through the Feedback form. We have to get it done at the legislative level and lock it down so it cannot be forced upon us. I see lots of anger out there. Good. Put it to use.
Folks if you go to the Stop Kosa website there's a *super quick* form that will figure out your legislators and auto send them an email from you. (There's a script, you don't have to figure out what to write.)
They'll also give ypu a phone number and a script if you're up to make a call.
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Like they tried to change Reblogs and people rightfully got up in arms, this is a LOT worse. In order to have access to any sort of thing dubbed mature, and We haveALL seen what they think is mature, Everything from a black and white photo of a black woman's arm, to posts about IUD recalls, to a nude painted by a 17th century artist, to anything involving the word Trans; you have to send your personal information to a third party site that WILL get hacked, and you will be doxxed. And they can say "Oh shit, well it wasn't us who sent your name address and gender identity to Moldovan teenagers, here's a couple extra minutes in the ball pit.
That's bad enough!!!!!!!! But the entire idea of needing permission from state authorities to access anything labeled mature by our friendly AI overlords is some fucking Boll shit. Die Gedenken Sind Frie baby. This is all a reaction to people getting uppity about their lowly lowly rights and is being propped up by the same bad actors tht have made life unlivable. Fuck that shit.
"Well it's only being rolled out in Brazil and UK" Yeah, to start. "Well they're being forced to do this by laws." YOu know it's always really funny when these tech giants (Or whatever you call owning tumblr dot com) get really antsy about laws considering they pick and choose which ones they abide by.
This is a breaking point and it's going to be very interesting to see how we proceed from here.
OKAY TIME FOR THE BABILLION-WORD WRITEUP ABOUT THIS
so, in writing down my no-core-companion run, i've had a lot of fun adjusting in-game events to better suit a gameplay-less novel experience (splitting up the party, condensing/combing events to flow more naturally, etc). example, i split the party in the temple of shar in the written version to cover more ground, but also because durge's urges are calling him to do harm to briar, so he's actively putting physical space between them (he would've split off with minthara bc she's expendable but both sides needed a healer and he wanted to see what he could learn from halsin)
anyway one thing i realized is the freedom i have to explore my versions of existing characters (im new to fan fiction okay this is also so novel to me). while i was drafting the skeleton out for act 2, i was like "ahh its gonna suck for halsin when minthara joins up ahaha"
and then i stopped. "wait why the fuck would halsin let her in the party." and then i thought "hmmm why would halsin let her in the party?" but this time with intrigue. got the ball rolling in my brain bc, as briar and durge, as written thus far, WOULDN'T. they don't know or care about this lady. so what if it was halsin's choice to save her? why would he choose this? what does it mean for their relationship?
so ive been having fun looking over the many sides ive seen people point out about halsin - how he's absolutely capable of vengeance (case in point, he hunts you down if you kill the grove), clearly has some understandably complicated feelings about drow (ESPECIALLY those who perpetuate their systems), but also a well of empathy and the tendency to doubt his own judgment. so i kinda fell in love with this version of halsin, wanting to enact justice on minthara, knowing it's also an extremely personal vendetta, hating himself for letting it BE personal/selfish, and still managing to recognize her humanity because she's going through something he, as a survivor & victim of so much trauma and loss, probably understands very well. this, alongside minthara's genuine attempts to sort herself out and pull her weight (even if she's absolutely not shaken her upbringing's influence) muddies things further.
my durge deeply respects and is envies halsin, viewing him as a desirable person to be (in control, kind, gentle and authentic), so this comic was originally supposed to be durge reckoning with the more human sides of halsin he blinded himself to. but i didnt script this out and just let my stupid lil heart carry the dialogue, so it ended up focusing and centering halsin's emotions with a fun dash of "durge is as socially inept as he is eloquent". it was fun to bounce his curtness off of halsin's gentler manner of speaking, even if the two have pretty similar character voices to me.
i realized durge absolutely cannot help halsin in this department, certainly not in a little speech, but that it would also be diminishing of halsin's interiority to have durge dismiss or resolve his unease so easily. instead, he asserts his own mistrust of minthara and makes his feelings known without pushing halsin in either direction, he reasserts his faith in halsin's judgment, but unfortunately his Urge is 100% on board too and decided to make things very awkward. halsin appreciates the gesture.
ive also decided minthara calls dyven "alhoon" (al [dead] + hoon [outsider/abomination]) partly because she cant remember his name and partly because he's a little twat.
finally, since durge is REALLY hard to draw consistently, ive been using a lot of direct references from a really awesome resource i got from a user here like 2 years ago but i cant find the name so once i do imma update this to include a link bc they deserve credit for thaaaaaat
anyway this is what ive been doing between work days so yippeeeee not my worst single draft
i love you durge. all that smart doesnt help you one bit
nobody âwrites like aiâ as long as they write, then they write. period. thereâs no âwriting like aiâ. because by saying someone âwrites like aiâ, youâre implying that ai actually writes and that ai is the blueprint. but what ai does is mimic human-made works.
ai writes (aka theyâre mimicking) like humans. not the other way around.
saying âthis writer writes like aiâ is the equivalent of saying âyour work looks like those other works that copied yoursâ
I am begging you. Please learn about stress/discomfort tolerance. Practice raising it. You need this to survive. If someone online can ruin your day with a throwaway comment, you desperately need to understand discomfort tolerance and consciously, systematically build that shit.
Also! Stress tolerance is such an important skill that having a learning disability in that area is a major symptom of a whole lot of other disabilities/mental illnesses! Struggling with it is a huge part of life! It sucks!
Am I saying everyone with misophonia needs to listen to chewing noises all day? No. But you need to find ways to tolerate it enough that you don't treat others like shit if they make a mouth noise near you.
No, you don't have to read the fic with your trigger tags. But you do need to be able to handle scrolling past the tags without being upset.
It is hard! But not having it also makes you so so so easy to manipulate. That grandma is racist AF because her mom raised her to be uncomfortable around black people and she never fought that discomfort. Trans people make so many cis people uncomfortable and that discomfort turns into bigotry real fast.
Letting your discomfort dictate your actions and beliefs about things is a great way to become a terrible person. Learn. Discomfort. Tolerance.
It is okay to get fatter because of disability. You are not "downgrading" or "deteriorating" and you still deserve accommodation no matter how fat you are. Fat disabled people are treated like shit - if you were already fat, people don't believe you or think you inflicted your disability on yourself by being fat and therefore it's your fault and you should lose weight before getting help. And if you weren't fat but became fat due to your disabilities you're seen as a lazy slob who's not trying hard enough to help themselves.
You deserve better. It's okay to be fat and disabled. It's okay to gain weight while struggling.
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Since explaining my sexuality usually results in people asking all kinds of uncomfortable questions, I keep with me the definition card and let it do the job for me, and I tell them I wont explain any further, because personally, itâs not their businessIâm a proud Ace, but that doesnât mean I have to openly tell people I just met about all the details about my sexuality. Asexual people can masturbate, have sex, watch porn, be sex repulsive, neutral or positive. That doesnât mean we have to tell you extensively if we do or are any of these as soon we tell you we are Ace. Please respect us regardless of our place in the spectrumđ
âšYou can find the cards inside my Pride Deck! âš
whenever i see a post about someone wondering how an  asexual and a sexual can be in a healthy relationship thereâs always someone being applauded for saying well asexuals can have sex too or just because someoneâs asexual doesnât mean they wonât have sex but i have never, not once, EVER seen someone say well hey, some sexuals donât have sex. you can have a full relationship without sex. just throwing it out there
Everyone in the notes saying polyamory and open relationships are great fixes for this too are missing the point. Ace people can have sexâand, yes, some enjoy sex. Yes, open relationships can be loving and healthy for ace people too. But ultimately youâre saying asexuality needs to be fixed by access to sex somehow. To quote op âyou can have a full relationship without sexâ. Your suggestion to find sex outside of the relationship with an ace partner completely misses that point.
#it may be surprising to learn this. but allos can choose to be celibate. famously there are entire religious orders where this is a thing #and a catholic nun who stays celibate her whole life can in fact still have a very full and meaningful life with important relationships #itâs not the end of the fucking world #there are people who donât drive too. there are people who have never seen a mountain. there are people who donât play video games. #human experience is too wide to be like ohh if you never do This One Thing then you are sufferinggg like chill maybe
It's Aro-Spec Awareness Week again my friends, and that means it's time for more silly little critters! (You can find last year's here.) âšKeep up the amazing work, fellow arosâš
Image 1: A minimalist digital drawing of a green spotted bush snake. The snake is shown from the side, and has the front half of its body raised up, with the back half curling behind and its tailing curling up the flagpole of the aromantic flag (dark green, light green, white, grey, black stripes) which flies to the left from behind the snake's head. The snake itself is green, with black stripes and spots, and a white and grey underbelly; the white also extends to the underside of its mouth. It had a round, circular black pupil in a white eye, and it is poking out it forked tongue, which is a light green save for the tip, which is black. The snake is wearing a black bowler hat on its head, which has a light green ribbon growing around it. Altogether the snake makes up the colours of the aromantic flag. The background is a pale green.
Image 2: A minimalist digital drawing of a messenger/common pigeon. The pigeon is shown from side on, and has a grey head and body, with green feathers banding around its neck. It has a lighter grey wing with black, arching, stripes and markings, the wing ending with green feathers, dark grey transitioning to black tail feathers, and light green feet with black claws. It has a round, circular black pupil in a white eye. It has a light green bowtie on its neck, and it is holding the aromantic flag (dark green, light green, white, grey, black stripes) in its mouth, with a part of the green fabric in its black and grey beak, and the rest flying behind it to the right. Altogether the pigeon makes up the colours of the aromantic flag. The background is a pale green. End ID]
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when i say âaros can still dateâ i mean that as in âaros can do whatever the fuck they want and it doesnât have to make sense to youâ
but some of yâall say âaros can still dateâ to mean âaros are still able to fit your standards of an acceptable person despite their abnormalityâ and i do not fuck with that
