I’m Good At Pretending Like I Know What I’m Doing

#'this is present in the text' is often a good first step #but those second and third ones (naming it; describing its function) are vital (via @elucubrare)

romance is a scam invented by dan and phil to sell more nordvpn subscriptions

"are you gonna take those pills the rest of your life?" you mean my molecules? why surely you wouldn't deprive me of my molecules. they are shaped exactly just so, you see. my molecules

do you know how hard someone had to work to make my molecules into their molecule shapes??

they invented a new shape of molecule just for me and you want me to what, not absorb it???

reblog to remind somebody about their molecules

people who shape molecules at their jobs found this post and they're in the notes being happy to be appreciated. go take your fucking molecules

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

It has a name!!!

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

Reblog if you love boobs and hate ICE

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

Animated Goncharov.

Definitely that one.

Look at these idiots who haven't seen Gonzorov (1993).

Reblogging entirely for Gonzorov.

Reblog for Gonzorov

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

Why not both?

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.