♠ Rook of Spades ♠

Image Description:

Hand clasping in solidarity meme. One side it reads "SW". One side it reads "Artists". And in the middle where the hands are clasping it reads "Making sure no one steals their pictures".

End Description

Also you don't have to use "Accountant" on Tumblr. You can say "Sex Workers". General rule of thumb though is to state that your blog is 18+ if you do post mature content and you don't follow minors.

pros: - you can design your own character. i love improv games and will go along with whatever bit you desire - there's an open bar - you don't know any of these people and i don't care about any of these people, which is the closest either of us will ever get to diplomatic immunity. all bets are off. go hog wild

I 100% did very much do this with @cryptidfucky. i hang out w/exclusively ne'er-do-wells, nerds, and freaks & all my friends were also EXTREMELY on board with this plan. their help ended up being crucial tbh i love them

Here are the results:

more people "recognized" alex than recognized me, their actual classmate. i found that to be extremely funny

literally changed our story per group of people we were talking to. i don't think anyone noticed.

i got to pretend i did not recognize my high school bully which was both cathartic and also very sexy of me

everyone was nice now that i'm hot. however, now that i'm old, i realized i really don't care if these people like me... which was even more sexy of me

my friends are all absolute heroes. i owe them my life. kisses and kisses and kisses

people absolutely bought the story.

highlights include people who texted me about them:

and this one. i need to stress - i did not actually speak directly to the person who "knew" alex. we did not find that person in the crowd. my friends were just working overtime for me. god bless them.

other results include:

several of my friends are now bringing friends on fake!dates with them to holiday events just for mischief

i am going to my office party with a straight friend of mine just so i don't have to be alone and she gets a break from her family

we now have a rotating cast of single people all now fake dating just to literally not have to worry about being alone at bad things

summary of data:

fake date ur friends. you're doing damage to the american isolationist ideal that only partners should be invited to events bc only romantic love "matters" or "counts"

This post has like 14k notes right now, and the tags and comments and reblogs are FULL of people who didn't know about fast-reblog, and -- you guys have been slow-reblogging this whole time!?!??!?!?

In the interests of a) making your lives easier, and b) encouraging you to reblog posts, which is what keeps this site alive, here's how you fast-reblog:

On mobile: press and hold the reblog button. Your blog icon will appear. If you have sideblogs, all of the different icons will appear. Drag to whichever blog you want to reblog to, and release. Job done.

On desktop: hold down the E key and click reblog. Job done.

early tumblr culture was autistic. earnest weirdness is autistic. cringe culture is ableism. there is nothing inherently childish about being earnest or '''cringe'''; maybe you were a teenager in the early tumblr years but to assume everyone was is infantilising. we are weird and earnest here. if people being weird and earnest is off-putting to you may i suggest logging off instead of telling anyone about it

1. This is a moral thing to do, take the internet back from corporate accounts