Woof...

You can pinpoint the exact moment he turns to liquid

one time i hooked up with a guy and he ate my ass and jerked me off and then his boyfriend came home and was like kind of upset that he didn't get to have sex with me too. so i was like hey we can do sex that's fine by me. i can cum again. and so he's like ok lets take a shower together and ill jerk you off in the shower. and as hes jerking me off in the shower he asks if i use my phone while i shower. and i say no. and he says he always uses his phone in the shower. and sometimes he takes off the case and washes his phone with shampoo and water just for fun. and he's broken five phones this year from doing that but he's not going to stop because he just wants his phone to be clean and feel good. hes still jerking me off as he tells me about this. this is a real story you have to believe me

They broke up

paws at you. whines at you. awouf

rrawrf

aw fuck *fastens seatbelt*

"I got owned today. And yes, I get owned constantly"

Transphobes are always asking us to define a woman, rather than a man, because we all know a man is a MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS

I mean, I made the tool to make these, so I have plenty, but yes, these are good

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured

Things need to be cheaper. Free, even