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After viewing several topographical maps, an old wagon wheel, and a few rusting farm implements, visitors to Hopkinton’s local history museum confirmed Monday that the curators had clearly dug deep to fill the two 15-by-20-foot rooms at their disposal. “The first room had photos of the town’s past and a handful of framed newspaper clippings by the entrance, but the next display case was basically just full of old railroad spikes,” said Hopkinton resident Clara Bouchard, who spent less than a minute examining a 1948 photograph of the town’s former train depot before concluding the structure, which now houses a café and yarn store, looks more or less the same today as it did then.

Shocking Truth Social followers with a graphic insult to a nebulous opponent, President Donald Trump escalated a feud with an unclear adversary Monday by posting an AI video of himself fucking a basketball. “The president is clearly enraged at somebody, but the clip provides far too little context to know who exactly is meant to be targeted,” said political analyst Allen Mueller, noting that the computer-generated president shouts the name of a different foreign country with each sweaty thrust into the bright orange basketball.