the devil grades you a solid B on the

like part of the reason why a lot of fic that tries to deal with the "what if Alastair raped Dean" dynamic is that anything Dean perceives Alastair to have done he is also going to take on himself for having done it to someone else. so if you're going to have Dean perceive Alastair having raped him, I feel like more emotional landscape to Dean is the fact then he views himself as a rapist.

this fic where Cas rapes Sam while he's in the panic room is so crazy I almost want to write a coda for it oh my god. like first half but they never talk about it again + Cas was lobotomised to forget and Sam brings it up circa de s8 while he now has Lucifer trauma like. just wondering through Hell how much did Cas mean. how much of what he said it true every time Lucifer rapes me should ever bit of holy condemnation and spiritual violation compound on it. this is what I deserve after all.