what

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

if u write in present tense enough times in a row, you can switch this problem around & get confused when your present-tense narrator is talking abt something that happened in Their past. I recommend this bc it keeps u on ur toes

^^^

buck's ex and his sister think that he's in love with eddie. and the population of the state of new mexico thinks that eddie's in love with buck. isn't that nice.

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

For a second I thought this was a cat mail carrier and was blithely prepared to accept "receiving my mail from a cat" as a call to adventure.

housewives were not banging out spirk fanfiction in the 60s for you to be AI generating your fic

This should be the last post on tumblr before it is shut down.

And both of them are still on here and active.

Idk, I think the spelling adds a certain junuh say qwa

"This fic is literally just porn, why do you care about the quality of the editing" unfortunately, both my brain and my dick have strong opinions about verb tenses.

You severely underestimate the effect of typos and incorrect tenses on my libido

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.

It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though

It was simple addition, really.

Also sometimes the purpose of a sex scene is to be titillating and that's, like, fine. You wouldn't go out there and argue that movies shouldn't have jokes unless they "serve a narrative purpose" because you understand that generally the purpose of a joke is to make the audience laugh and perhaps release some tension. Being horny is a normal human emotion like being amused or being scared and sometimes media is trying to evoke that particular emotion; the artist doesn't owe you a 30-page double-spaced justification for trying to make you feel something through their art. Your separation of horniness and sex from other emotions and experiences is sex negative and deeply ingrained in cultural conservatism.

you are doing ghost of christmas past torment to me

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

Not just "fuck ICE" but also "love immigrants"