enter my rigatoni realm

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

The most beautiful flower in the world has just wilted away for good

Spent the day with regirock. He's a fantastic guy. Great sense of humor and also 200 physical defense

I always wanted to fuck wreck it ralph . I dont have time for that any more Im looking for someplace secluded to lay my eggs

new thing i want in video games is just meat . like a bunch of slabs of beef hanging from hooks in a dark room with only the sound of a single dripping pipe and the controls are inverted

the banana bread addict: i can stop at any time just one more batch

i love squard

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

unfortunately divas you have to let people love you

crossfaded off a block of cheese and an apple waylaying every traveller on the road