The name's Elmer

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.

“Unless you are following the dialogue with an action and not a dialogue tag.” He took a deep breath and sat back down after making the clarifying statement. 

“However,” she added, shifting in her seat, “it’s appropriate to use a comma if there’s action in the middle of a sentence.”

“True.” She glanced at the others. “You can also end with a period if you include an action between two separate statements.”

Things I didn’t know

“And–” she waved a pen as though to underline her statement–“if you’re interrupting a sentence with an action, you need to type two hyphens to make an en-dash.”

You guys have no idea how many students in my advanced fiction workshop didn’t know any of this when writing their stories.

Okay, but someone please explain question marks when followed by a dialogue tag. How do?

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots till now..

NOICE. Can’t wait to use this

“There are two more ways"—she pointed to the blackboard—“to punctuate interruptions. One is with the em dashes outside the quotations marks to indicate continuous speech. The action occurs at the same time as speech. The other—” she sipped from a glass of water “—is em dashes within the quotation marks to indicate interrupted speech.”

drink water

Maybe do these in reverse order

Don't listen to them! Transgender BDSM now!!!!

Easter’s over, you know what that means

IT’S HALLOWEEN

iT’S ONLY APRIL

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

god i need something so bad. but what is it

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT