vincit qui se vincit

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

TODAY

I gotta take my chances

people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud

that one friend that got trapped in the time loop and is soooooooooo annoying about it. you tell them a childhood fact and theyre like "you already told me that in the time loop" 🙄 okay sorry i dont remember that? stop flexing your knoweldge of reset timelines dude, its unfair. my mom doesnt even know your name and you're mournfully talking about how the taste of her home cooking reminds you of the time you watched us all die at the dinner table. its fucking weird. nobody wants to hear that while they're eating macaroni dude. cmon. you spent like 10 years in that timeloop arent you like mentally 40 now. 😑😑😑 grow up.

Lady of shallot. Lady of onion. Lady of garlic. Lady of chives.

I want slower packages delivered by transportation workers who are paid more to work less and I'm not kidding

@mortuarybees​: #i think its deeply important for all of us to come to terms with the fact that its actually fine to be mildly inconvenienced

and congratulations to us all who have outlived dick cheney!!! may he rot!!!

Dear Lord please not this post. I promise I'm cooler than this

you’re fucked. man

brennan lee mulligan having absolutely no hope for dimension 20: on a bus from the second katie started speaking vs matt mercer trying so desperately to help her have some semblance of sanity occurring has the same energy as brennan excitedly telling the intrepid heroes “gonna kill that dog!” during unsleeping city vs matt allowing laura bailey to keep a weasel pet that absolutely should have been dead by the second episode she had it.

when a human infant is in the womb, moments from being born, a vague figure of glowing amber light appears before them. in one hand, it holds a small soapstone carving of a coiled eel. in the other hand it holds a mortar and pestle made of polished red quartz. it bids the infant to choose between these two things, but we don't know the significance of this choice, because all babies throughout history with no exception have always picked the soapstone eel. so that's still one of the big mysteries out there.

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

Hell yeah moon holiday

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY

moon day is 20th July!!!

Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!

Steve Jobs and his consequences have been a disaster for the button, switch, and knobhead kind.