Taren's Blog

yo yo wait that reminds me of something really funny i saw once, hold on--(you watch me open my phone browser and manually and correctly type the entire url of a specific tumblr post)

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

oh no, animal ears are feet

yeah. cat ears are feet!

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

Okay so it turns out a “sword sage” rises in the hierarchy based on how many apprentices they recruit and how many novices those apprentices take on. They don’t ascend through meditation and endless repetition of the blade forms, they don’t even decide ranking through a grand tournament or anything. But they do say the people on the top get access to ancient sacred swords and scrolls of divine insight, which is a grave injustice against noble hearted warriors who seek mastery of the blade arts. As a true dedicated disciple of the blade, it falls on me to topple this corrupt pyramid, and that’s why I need you to join my righteous cause and become my apprentice

You are truly wise and noble of heart to join my cause. But you must know that two swords are not enough to strike down a foe this vile. What we need is strength in numbers. Thus I beseech you; go out and recruit disciples of your own, then return to me and I will teach you all the techniques I have mastered thus far. Together we will bring justice to all disciples of the blade who have been kept from true mastery by the corruption at the core of this multi-level monastic order

suddenly the fucking

they must've opened the fridge

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second