death is sleek and chic

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

i have good taste except when i don’t but when i don’t it’s in a sexy way

they're saying it's the most thursday it's ever been

No I think it's really great when a friend group of approximately twenty seven individuals spread out in the sidewalk as they walk so nobody has to walk behind the group. There's nothing better than when I'm trying to get home and I see the tableau of Jesus at the Last Supper gliding towards me like Jamiroquai in the Virtual Insanity music video and I have to decide who has the narrowest frame that I can shoulder-check my way past

Can you say one of your younger friends or family who is rude, rascal and violent is cute because of their appearence even if they were adult!?

Has anyone noticed that translating poetry is not easy

It's kind of like if you were in unrequited love with the crossword puzzle

editing is so funny because it's like "damn, i wrote 'before' two times within three paragraphs. they are going to stone me in the town square for this"

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on