narrative foils stan account

your job is not more important than media from 2005. never forget this.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

Ringo chuckled, “You mean the elf stones?”

if you as a man cannot relate to female characters, you are a misogynist

[showing up to the function unannounced in sunglasses and a driving hair shawl & gloves & a trenchcoat & high heels with a frantic persecuted air] no darling of course I wanted to come to your little shindig last week but I just had to get out of town, you understand [taking a long hard drag of a ridiculously thin cigarette and getting lipstick on the filter] I had a popular post going around

riddle me this, riddle me me that, whoose afraid of the big small cat.

Humiliation victim gotta be one of the least funny gimmicks ever

It never ends

Was just having a discussion with my fiance that taco bell should change their slogan to "it's gonna be okay" or at the very least shorten "live más" to "live". just feels like thats what we need from them

They should change it to "live por favor" and when they hand you your order you hold hands for a moment and look in each others eyes