*tips dadora* m'boy

escape rooms would mean more to me if they actually tied you to chairs or released some sort of creature. like what’s the point otherwise. where’s the incentive. how is it fun

i think something may be wrong with me

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

she thought I was sucking the poison out her wounds for homoerotic purposes but Im really just trying to resell it on the secondhand market

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

why is the human body composed of such capricious tubes

boy i sure do love a character who is playing a Character. a character who you have to basically forcefully cut open to get a glimpse of who they actually are. bonus points if they themselves have no fucking clue because theyve been pretending for so long theyve forgotten who they are when theyre not

extremely funny when students get really into some harmless "vintage" activity to the point of absurdity. right now it's hacky sack, which is not something i ever thought i would see my students playing en masse. and yet here they are organizing competitive hacky sack teams. taking over any space they can to kick a hacky sack around. i had to chase a group to morning assembly today because they were busy playing hacky sack. just saw one of my students sending an email that said "stop adding randos to our team they're the worst sackers." 2026 year of the hacky sack ig

apparently stores are running out of hacky sacks. their voracity for hacky sack is outpacing the supply chain. beautiful hacky sack world

its easy to be cynical about the future but on the bright side at least more people keep giant skeleton statues in their yards now moreso than ever before

UNMUTE THIS, I BEG YOU

This often happens with feral cats! Meowing into adulthood is something cats learn for interacting with humans. If they don’t know any humans until they’re already adults, they just make whatever noises spring to their throat and you get… *gestures*

This is painfully American