*tips dadora* m'boy

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen

You don’t wanna know what happens when your kidneys are idiot bitches.

Appendix: the Unabomber

i have a suggestion

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

At Costco there were two butch ladies in their 60’s arguing about which couch to get and one of them said a certain option wouldn’t fit through the doorway at which point they BOTH immediately whipped out tape measures. Glorious.

There's no point in breeding cats they just generate spontaneously out of gross alleyways and are born perfect every time

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro