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@rheumaticrhetoric
rain world

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cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40
i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them
The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature
Homework lady: "My dog is barking! 🙂"
The dog:
[oc] Faxxing you a Jammy
My hobbit squad is working on a big project for the Brandywine Festival this year, and my part is building a little portable stage for hobbit performances. So at this point I've got a little maquette done, to be sure I'm happy with the proportions before I start cutting lumber.
I dare any hobbit to outperform Mayhem Jane. I dare you.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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new OC for a one shot! beautiful pirate lady i love you and your unsettling fish eyes.
Ohhh my gods she’s beautifullll
... is this a false cognate or.
WELL HUH
man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life
wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating
How to do heart-shaped cat-eye nail art BY a a金库

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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oh my fucking god
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
its important to note the "clever" politics behind all of the decisions around this; NF cannot be investigated if he isn't an MP (stupid ruling, yes, but hang on) so his plan was to cause a stir by trying to get someone to take his seat; other politicians see through the plan and don't participate which would fuck NF massively as it means he never stopped being an MP and therefore can still be investigated and imprisoned. Binface shows up because of course he does this is an excellent time to embarrass a tosser. NF is now in a lose-lose.
If NF wins, he won against a joke candidate and thus it only makes him look an idiot (homer beating 8 year olds style) with no legitimacy, AND he will still go through the investigation that most of the HoP wants to put him through.
If Binface wins, NF lost to a joke candidate, and good heavens that's gonna screw him over permanently innit.
I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.
Or even like... Cannon warfare.
Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.
Why is so much stuff being stored outside the walls? It looks like their water supply could be ruined by a very dedicated bear.

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[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law student’s life
oh hello you’ve returned to us
Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.
*snrrt* *rrrrt* "hrrrrrrrrr...."
i didn't know a cat's nose could do that