Rheumatic Rhetoric

absolutely incomprehensible baby walked ahead of its parents into my job. babbling babbling babbling at me and I couldn't understand a word. and you must know i speak fluent baby babble so i was like what is up little baby. i can't understand a word you're saying. then its parents walked in fully speaking Swedish. I speak fluent baby but not Swedish you see.

my wife and i have a mutual friend who's one of those old new yorkers (lived in soho in the late 70s/80s, she was very scene,etc) and its fun to talk to her because we can be like "oh we're going to watch this Herzog film at Angelika" and she'll just pull out a story like "I once ran into Werner Herzog while I was closing the bar high off his gourd and I said "Oh wow Werner Herzog is here!" and he gently grabbed my shoulder and said "No he iz not." and left"

Animals with embroidered fan art

black mackerel tabby with low white spotting, black spotted tabby with low white spotting

you forgot the attacking and violence

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

okay there's a cover version of 500 Miles playing in this KFC by some coffee shop singer songwriter type and she's changed the lyrics so it's only 79 miles??

I thought I was having a mental break the first time but the chorus came around again and she definitely said "I would walk 40 miles and I would walk 39 more just to be the one who walked 79 miles". I'm sorry but that's just not far enough to be songworthy and it's also uncomfortably specific

also I'm in Scotland and I think an American singer doing this is a reportable hate crime here

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable