It just occurred to me that there are an awful lot of evil manta rays in D&D.
I made the gif, I'm reusing the gif. Not my best work, but whatever.
You've got Cloakers, Cerebral Hoods, Ixitxachitl, Lurkers (Above), Trappers, and probably others; I've excluded several that aren't evil/predatory.
And why? Out of all sea creatures I know about, rays are the ones I forget exist the most often. I will remember invertebrates and extinct megafauna before I remember manta rays. And I'm drawing on a reference pool of one, so I can't say that's true for everyone (certainly not someone who isn't in a landlocked part of the world), but, like, the only times I see rays in fiction anymore are as flying rays, and then only when skywhales aren't being used. (I'm not sure why it's exclusive -- maybe people just don't want to populate the sky with everything in the ocean and those two are the obvious choices for marine flyers besides the flying fish: the thing that looks like it flies already and the thing that absolutely wouldn't fly ever.) Like with WoW: there's a tremendous dearth of whales in the game, but rays (giant sea ones and flying alien things alike) have decent variety. Not the most variety -- they're not common -- but they're there. And manta rays are entirely innocuous: either there have never been any records of a manta (not sting, manta) ray killing/hurting someone or it's so rare that it's a fluke. So why manta rays over, say, marlins, sawfish, lionfish, etc.?
Is it because they're nearly two-dimensional, so can be used for various purposes? Is it because other animals don't look like them, but they can look like, say, cloaks or really anything vaguely blanket-like? Is it the history of being called "devilfish," which is obscure enough that I have only heard about it as a bit of history thrown about within D&D contexts and isn't even specific to rays?
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I've written this entry I don't know how many times and every time I use that gif. Maybe that's a bad sign.
So anyway, races. This book has a lot of them. Kinda.
In 3.x, the term "race" is a bit nebulous. There are three definitions:
A creature with rough parity in power to a Human and which is intended for use as a player character.
A creature that lists "by character class" in its "advancement" line or has a "[monster] characters" subsection to its entry.
Any monster that provides a level adjustment listing other than a dash.
But the word "race" itself is nebulous, so there you go.
Per definition #1, the following creatures are more-or-less intended for use as PCs, even if they don't do this well (italics for monsters I've already covered):
Abeil Vassals: Worker honeybeeple.
Bladelings: Think spiky tieflings.
Chaonds: Slaad-touched.
Desmodu: Again, galloping vampire batsquatches with an inflated ECL.
Durzagon: However, at ECL 8, they can move into definition #2.
Half-Golems: According to the book, at least, The update booklet made them unplayable, on which I have Opinions.™
Ixitxachitl: I get that these have a history of being a race (in the sense of a people with a culture/civilization) and they have LAs to make both versions playable, but 3rd edition pretty much defined races (as well as Humanoids and Monstrous Humanoids) as having hands -- not without reason, but IMHO nonetheless stupidly.
To hammer on the point, if you don't want to cite The Emperor's New Groove, there's The Last Unicorn.
Jermlaine: I don't think they're intended to be used as a race, but given power level (roughly that of a Kobold), shape, and the edition, that should have been a given. Pixies fall into definitions #1 and #2 (they're listed when other Fey and many other human-looking monsters aren't in the DMG as a player race option) and they have constant improved invisibility, so Jermalines should fit definition #1.
Loxo.
Myconids: Barely as written. You'd need to be an elder worker (age 12-16 of a 24-year lifespan, 3 HD, LA +3, ECL 6) in order to communicate, but they are in concept a fungal analog to a humanoid race.
Neogi: Bordering definition #2, but I think their lore puts them in #1.
~Nimblewright: To my knowledge, these originate here, and of the Constructs besides Half-Golems, these are the closest to a PC race. They and the Maug (and maybe Dread Guard) are no doubt what spawned the Warforged.
Ormyrr: Multi-armed caterpillar people (caterpeople?) with a bad case of RBF. A little too powerful for most PCs.
Psurlon: Debatable. It's a Dark Sun question more than a 3rd ed. one.
Scorpionfolk.
~Spell Weavers: This is another question of power levels.
Thri-Kreen. Again, a Dark Sun problem: they're way too powerful for most games, so don't see much use despite semi-popularity.
There is no race in this book that is equal in power to a core PC race: other than the Jermlaine, as mentioned, they all have at least a +1 level adjustment and all but the two planetouched have higher LAs than that. I've already discussed how Bladelings in theory should fall into that same LA +1 category that encompasses all planetouched (even though they aren't -touched), but don't, so WotC created the Spikers to do the same thing. (We can't have multiple entries for the same thing, now, can we? [insert elf subrace here])
I'm not going to recommend any of the races I'll be discussing, but they're at least options that someone might find useful.
Abeils
To go back to what I was saying with Desmodu and extend it, I'm more likely to like something Centaur-like, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's well made. A lot of "[insert animal here]-people" stop at that concept. This is true of Abeils.
Like, I can say more about how Abeils were designed than there is written about them in all of 3rd edition, but that's because two of the sources are obvious (Formians and 3.x's elf-faced Centaurs) and the third is only not obvious because the reference is esoteric (the name probably comes from Abellio, the topmost layer of Arcadia [LG/LN outer plane] from which the Formians originally come). If that were all there was to this entry, it would just be another monster.
Because Abeils are industrial expansionists but are devoid of lore connections, they're exceptionally difficult to slot into an existing campaign or setting. The small size of their hive-"cities" (more like hive-thorps) would help mitigate this if we had any information on how quickly they can spread. But we don't. We don't even have the obvious connection to Bralm, the Suloise bee goddess. And there's not much more in the rest of 3.x: it's all encounter compositions (throwaway group listings/character blurbs apart from the one in the MM2 web enhancement) except for an appearance in an FR novel. There's just nothing to them.
Abeils have too many powerful abilities to work as a PC race, even if you discard the more powerful soldiers. The worst offender is Drone, which is an at-will sleep effect meant to work like sleep, but is actually more powerful than hiss of sleep, a 7th-level spell. Ironically, the queen (ECL 21 in 3.0/unplayable in 3.5) is closer in power to a 16th-level character, something like a Druid/Thrallherd. If you want playable Abeils, you're going to nerf basically everything (at which point you may as well make your own race) or create a bee-themed subrace for Dromites.
Chaond
3.x has four (4) attempts at chaotic planetouched: these, which are in flavor what you would expect (humans [etc.] with a Slaad ancestor), Cansin (a Dragon magazine version, vague origins, better overall), Neraphim (a second attempt at playable Slaadi), and 3.P's Ganzi (which are mostly Cansin again). This version is not at all frog-like in appearance, just ugly, but it is highly dexterous -- if you want to play an ugly Monk (with alignment issues)/Ranger/Rogue. Probably its best feature is having shatter 1/day, though you can do better (a level of Warlock will get you that at-will).
Ixitxachitl
Evil manta rays.
These first appeared in Supplement II: Blackmoor for OD&D and presage Oerth's inordinate fondness for Aztec things without context for why that culture specifically.
Problem: manta rays are completely harmless -- and armless.
Like, I hate that I have to say this, but giant sea flap-flaps have no means of attacking anything but plankton and the occasional small fish. They survive thanks to their sheer size (not reflected in the Ixitxachitl's stats) and agility.
And no, you're thinking sting rays -- regular sea flap flaps. Manta rays aren't sting rays; they can't sting. There's lethal and harmless marine pancakes.
Ixitxachitl can bite and certain of their number are vampiric, which AD&D through 3rd edition treated as just bloodsucking and fast healing, whereas Blackmoor makes them affected by anti-undead attacks. Their big thing is being Clerics, which at least complements their intelligence. (Actual manta rays are likely extremely intelligent for non-human animals, so this at least tracks.) This is about the only means they'd have of developing a civilization, but it's probably the least effective spellcasting class they could pick for that end.
Nimblewright
*Nimblewrought. FTFY
Yup, those swashbuckler robots in disguise with retractable rapiers come from this book. They are, indeed, more than meets the eye.
As a monster, the Nimblewright is overdone: it has 10 HD, extremely high stats save for Int (10), an augmented crit range of 12-20 (quite possible as a crit build in 3.0), and a special tripping ability, but there are more straightforward ways of making a swashbuckler that are on the whole better and you could still slap the Construct type on that.
As a concept, though, the Nimblewright says one thing: playable Construct race. There were two monsters in 3.0 that communicated that, the other being the Maug (Fiend Folio). See, the Construct type was basically unplayable (in PC terms) for the longest time: too many immunities (crits, most status effects, a school of magic, and chunky salsa rules), the assumption of mindlessness (true for most Constructs) leading to even more immunities (another school of magic, several subschools, and a multitude of buffs and debuffs), and no Constitution score make for an extremely OP creature. But then you get things like this and the seeds are sown. We can probably thank Nimblewrights and Maugs for Warforged coming into existence.
Ormyrr
I don't think this is meant to be the Blue, Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, but it totally should be. It's not especially playable (7 HD, LA +6, ECL 13, Huge, its only gimmicks are multiweapon fighting and constriction), but it at least gets the ball rolling in maybe making such a race.
Zenythri
As with the Chaond, this is one of a few attempts at making Lawful planetouched. IMHO, it's the strangest, but only in flavor. In some ways, it's similar to the Axani ("Children of the Cosmos," Dragon #297), as both are meant to be generically lawful; where the Axani is calm and has stats that reflect that, the Zenythri looks calm and has stats to make a Monk (the favored class for both because it was restricted to Lawful alignments in 3rd ed.). Like the Mechanatrix (Fiend Folio), it seems to be tied to a specific race: they're purple or (text only) blue. This random bit would suggest Arcane/Mercane, who are similarly opaque, blue, and Lawful (in contrast to their personalities), and that's the speculation I've found on the Internet. However, Zenythri make poor merchants (-2 Cha) and share nothing else in common with the Spelljammer race.
Conclusions
Phew! This has taken me far longer than I imagined it would. I mean, I knew it would take me a while to get through, but I didn't think it would take the entire summer. Of course, I didn't think I'd end up doing as much research as I did. (Not that I did enough: I haven't been writing semi-academically like Rogue does, though I could and maybe should.) As tempting as it has been to review a monster book in its totality, making it a single entry is impossible with Tumblr's character limits and not helpful at a readable length. However, a series like this isn't much better unless I were to make this blog more themed around monsters -- suggestions on familiars and summons, which I could do.
This was something of a test run for a series I had had in mind covering the history of various spells in the game. That would obviously take a lot more reading than I have done, as I'd have to go through every work in every edition to see what changes were made and thoughts were conveyed on various spells. And that seems like much more of a wizard thing than a sorcerer one, so I won't go quite that far. For now. At any rate, I didn't attract much interest with these posts, so I don't think it's a good idea to keep up this sort of thing, even if I were to cover something more current.
Best of Book -- by Type:
Aberration: The Julajimus hands down is the best creature listed as an Aberration, but I don't think it should be one -- it better fits a fiend (Outsider [Evil]), Fey, or Magical Beast. Of the rest, I have a personal fondness for Neogi.
Animal: For me, this is a tie between the Cryptoclidus (Nessie) and the Dire Hawk (Pidgeot). However, I like most of the Dinosaurs. The Desmodu Bats aren't themselves bad, just a smidge redundant.
Construct: Probably the Nimblewright because it is relatively unusual for pre-Warforged Constructs. I'm also fond of Chain Golems. I liked the idea of the Raggamoffyns until it clicked that they're rape monsters.
Dragon: My favorite of the Gem Dragons is the Crystal Dragon, though I like the Emerald's art and the Amethyst's abilities. The Dread Linnorm's breath weapons are neat, but otherwise I don't care for Linnorms much. The Hellfire Wyrm should be much cooler than it is, but it's sadly weak for its CR and type.
Elemental: Immoth, hands down. Like, I like the idea of a living storm (Tempest), but an ice elemental that can freeze words and spells is just cool. Pun absolutely intended.
Fey: I'm biased, it's the Sylph, even though that's not technically a Fey but an Outsider. It should be a Fey.
Giant: I'll go with the Forest Giant because the Sun Giant is changed in weird ways, but I don't actually care for this creature type at all.
Humanoid: Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Book.
Magical Beast: There are quite a few monsters in this category I like (the Asperi, Cloud Ray, Fiendwurm, Frost Salamander, Gravorg in idea, Mooncalf in description, Moonrat, Nethersight Mastiff, Phase Wasp, and Phoenix), but I think the one that is functionally best and complete is the Fiendwurm.
Monstrous Humanoid: There are six monsters that I kinda like (Abeil, Loxo, Ormyrr, Scorpionfolk, Spell Weaver, and Thri-Kreen), but my favorite is the Spell Weaver because the others are more powerful than they need to be.
Ooze: Tie between the Reason Stealer (which is slightly more interesting but less useful than other intelligent oozes because it has to steal sapience over and over) and the Teratomorph (which is just insane).
Outsider: I'm fond of the Durzagon (just because), Ether Scarab (which could equally easily be a Magical Beast), the Ethereal Doppelganger (again, a character), and the Glimmerskin (just weird).
Plant: I will always love the Myconids for being Toads, but the idea of the Orcwort is wonderful, even if the CR is wonky.
Undead: The Effigy, Jahi, and Ragewind are each unusual takes on ghosts in ways that I appreciate more than most other undead.
Vermin: Great Old Master (Neogi), but there's not really a choice here.
-- by Concept/Function:
Race: Thri-Kreen are the most readily playable besides the Jermlaine (but then you have to play a Jermlaine), but Neogi are probably the most unusual and interesting yet still functional.
Low CR Fight: Ash Rat. Like I said, these guys have a lot of abilities that make them more interesting fire elementals.
Mid CR Fight: A cadre of Jovocs, followed by the Immoth.
High CR Fight: Probably the Teratomorph or a Gem Dragon, but the Fiendwurm or a well-run Hellfire Wyrm would certainly give them a run for their money.
Fiend: The Marrash. Because parasitoid elf shot.
Non-Fiend Outsider: As much as I love sylphs, this has to be the Glimmerskin.
Horror Encounter: Meenlocks get into such body horror and torture that nothing else can really compete.
Infiltrator: There are several in this book, so it's hard competition, but I'm thinking the two fairy tale ones (the Julajimus and Ethereal Doppelganger) are probably the best. I want the Jahi to be here, but it's wonky.
Mount: Again, the Dire Hawk.
Guardian: If we're going by Animal Companion sorts of rules, probably the Forest Sloth (unless you're a Halfling). If you want something more magical, the Bronze Serpent and the various golems are all meant to be this -- and of course the Runic Guardian; it's hard to say: you have Electric-type Steelix, the most metal of all golems, and stained glass, plus something you've added spells to.
Familiar: The Phase Wasp covers certain basic spells (see invisible and magic missile) that you'd want constantly, allowing you to save your spell slots and do something more productive. It's a bad match for Wizards, though, because it builds its nests using paper.
Summon/Animation: Summoning isn't really supported in this book because the summon lists are set and require difficult to find feats to alter, but I'd want to go with the Ethereal Slayer (summon monster ix). Undead-wise, I humbly suggest the Spellstitched or (if you don't want something reprinted) the Spawn of Kyuss.
Information Broker: There are quite a few with different drawbacks, but probably the least difficult to work with are the Elemental Weirds.
Worst of Book (by Type Only):
Aberration: Either the Catoblepas (which didn't need to be an Aberration) or the Wyste (giant leeches).
Animal: Dire Horse. I can only imagine that it looks just as diseased as the Dire Elk, plus it's not an interesting fight.
Construct: Juggernaut. It's totally unnecessary and has totally unnecessary abilities. Dishonorable mention to the rapey Raggamoffyns.
Dragon: I'm torn between the Gray Linnorm (I don't care for Linnorms) and the Horned Felldrake (because it's more a dinosaur than a dragon and uggo).
Elemental: There's honestly no bad one, but the worst on a relative scale would be the Fire Bat.
Fey: Jermlaine because every other Fey is just better and not ugly. Not that Ocean Striders make any sense.
Giant: Probably the Mountain Giant because it's just an overhyped Hill Giant.
Humanoid: Again, Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Book.
Magical Beast: There is no contest here, it's the Mudmaw. If it were just a magical alligator, it would be one thing, but those tentacles ruin it.
Monstrous Humanoid: I'm sorry for hammering on this, but Desmodu.
Ooze: It's just a gross tumor. It makes me want to throw up.
Outsider: I'm going with the Rukarazyll. It's incoherent, but not Chaotic; weird-ass in all ways, but not Aberrant; not at all Earthy, yet tied to that element; and fungal without being a "Plant."
Plant: Needlefolk. At least the others make sense.
Undead: Eh, Deathbringer. It's a high CR monster and this book has a lot of those that are too weak for their CRs, so I'd have to see it in play or read more reviews to be sure it doesn't suck.
Vermin: Leechwalker. It's already a case of either/or and I'm just not keen on worms that walk, plus this is just a swarm of leeches that happens to take a humanoid shape and doesn't really benefit from that.
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hey i have a question, are all the curses you dish out to those who interact the same cause or are they all unique?.. cuz like my friend didnt heed your warnings and theyre a frog now, but we also just briefly travelled through the fey realm so I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action here..
Listen I know you are used to fuckin F tier wizards that fart out the same ass council approved same ass curses.
But me? Im better than them, I'm better than you, I'm better than your favorite wizard, I can use fuckin merlin as a sounding rod and he'll thank me for the opportunity.
And I don't do repeat performances, every curse that comes out of my ass is custom tailored to make YOUR day worse! Like this one :
