Seeing all the comments about "what even is masculine/male presentation?" deliberately missing the point, I've decided it's story time.
Gather around fuckos, cause evidently you need a example on how to respect a trans or NB/GNC person who doesn't/cant pass, or isn't some degree of conventually attractive androgeny or acceptable drag portrayal of gender.
15 years ago, my friend identified as a trans woman. Of course, due to various reasons, including environmental, medical, and financial, they didn't have consistent access to medication or nessassarily feel comfortable with presenting as a woman in day to day.
Instead, they maintained their masculine appearance. Short hair, men's clothes, full beard, ect. And because of many of the reasons above, they often asked me to cut their hair when it started to get shaggy. Which I was happy to do for them and touched they trusted me to do so.
I personally did not find them attractive. Not just because they were still very masc/male, and Im very much a lesbian, but more because we weren't romantically or sexually compatiable as people.
But I still used the right gender, their chosen name, and the right pronouns. Rather, I was around them or not, always using she/her even in my own head. Unless I knew the person I was speaking to was not in the know, who knew them, then I used he/him to protect my friend's identity.
And if I fucked up, which in the begining that happens, I corrected myself, hell I gently corrected others.
Did they "pass"? Absolutely not. They weren't in a space where they could socially transition with visual outward expression.
Did that matter? Hell fucking no.
My job as a friend, as a ally and a lesbian / member of the queer community was to reaffirm my friend's identity and support them on their journey in a way they needed.
And when a decade later then came out as nonbinary/gender queer with new pronouns? I immediately switched, no questions.
They still, as far as I know, look like a bearded dude with tattoos.
Because I don't need to find someone hot or want to fuck them to respect them or believe they are innately deserving of basic rights, decency, and common courtesy.
Do better and be a decent human.
Editing to add: respect is also looking at a someone in a dress and heels, with a hairy masc chest, and broad shoulders, with stubble on a square jaw and a beginners attempt at make up and long hair and not hesitating to address her as a woman.
Allyship is seeing that woman's face light up with joy and being happy for her. - and maybe a little sad that it takes only a little basic courted to affirm someone's gender.
