here at the end of all things @retrograde-orbit - Tumblr Blog

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

peopleingishard

^not my post but same sentiment

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eudaemon-m

a long walk

toskarin

stumbled into a "tactical" subreddit while I was looking for reviews on a normal coat and was forced to grapple with the fact they talk about it EXACTLY like a lolita fashion community

aconite-and-purpleviolets

The Lolita community does not fuck around

toskarin

truly, it is lolita fashion for divorced men

virtualgirladvance

the nodding emoji, or as she more formally known "head shaking vertically", is my favourite gal right now she just does it all. agree? agree with me? this is a fact? oh I understand now? lying? sarcasm? she really is in a league of her own 🙂‍↕️

demilypyro

LET'S GO?

demilypyro

>an older woman with generational wealth

let's fucking go chat

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phorusrhacidae-lesbian

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said then immediately respond to you before you finish

ghostfiish

Not only was I the only one who ended up getting a ticket for my particular screening of the Backrooms... but also, besides the concessions staff, the entire theater was completely empty

I think I may have had the most appropriate viewing experience possible

datasoong47

linguisticparadox

r5h

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/

bralsra-deactivated20250108

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

chipper-smol

How would you describe a dragon to someone who has never seen a dragon?

chipper-smol

"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"

didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose

"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"

On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?

"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."

Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.

"Big-ass lizard with wings" "big lizard" "Giant lizard" "Big fucking lizard"

don't seem too special?

"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"

i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god

"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"

Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}

"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"

Ah. Hm.

"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."

kingfucko

this is literally exactly like medieval bestiaries. a description which was game-of-telephoned out of an ancient account from somebody who might have seen the animal in question, being misinterpreted by an artist who has not seen it

mattpresents

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

aroaceenjolras

This "allosexuality" thing is just a phase. You just need to have really bad sex, and then maybe you'll change your mind.

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background-character-341

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

fish-emoji

Pinochle ? well I just don't think that's where it comes from

waywardsoul-s

Rereading all systems red and the first 2 chapters are strong contenders for funniest intro to a book series. Jumping straight to action, and mb is giving us absolutely no info about anything. Who are those people? Some weird hippies it's not important. Why are they here? Mb does not give a shit. What is this planet? Fuck if it knows. Here is a small paragraph that fucking states everyone's relationship status like a wiki article that we are never gonna get back to. Ugh there are hostiles that keep us away from our media #our media.

#it's so real for that

estavionpira

No, yeah, it's really cool that you turned out to be the rightful holder of the Mandate of Heaven, that's fantastic, but you do know that you can only cash that in to become the emperor of China if you're within Chinese borders. That's the actual hard part. There have been like 30 known people with the Mandate of Heaven in the past 15 years, they just keep getting tracked down and executed by PLA hunter-killer teams before they make it over the border. There's naval mines all across the South China Sea to catch any rightful rulers trying to sail in under the radar too. Real tough stuff.

Would have been easier a few decades ago, but there's been, what, two, two and a half trillion yuan poured into reconnaissance and R&D since then. They can pinpoint the rightful ruler of China down to a 100-mile region anywhere on the world now. Spy satellites. Hope I didn't scare you too much. If it's worth anything, I think you've got a shot. You could get on a civilian flight to Beijing and see if they're willing to tank the diplomatic hit of shooting it down. That actually might work. Nah, I'm kidding ya. Seven of them tried that and got vaporized. You're fucked.

estavionpira

Good idea, good idea. One rightful ruler actually did manage to get into the Chinese embassy in Bolivia, back in 2009 I think. Kinda surprised you didn't hear about it, it was all over the news. NYT front page. But no, yeah, it turns out that the Jade Emperor or whatever imperial spirit judges the magic on this kind of thing thinks embassies are kinda lame. Saw the embassy trick and just thought it was some real loser shit. Yeah. Didn't work. Seems like it's gotta be the mainland or nothing. Bad luck for that guy though. The embassy guys peeled off his skin.

hungwy

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

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mynorthernattitude

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

yanguang

肏肏肏肏肏竟然又是puyi tuesday了

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