"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Show daddy that nice picture again

not feeling very hundred emoji flame emoji today

well I am so 💯🔥💯🔥

🧯💨

0️⃣🌫0️⃣🌫

happy pride month everybody

could you lie

watching a fictional character stop being the same age as you is fucked up

Spending years toiling at wizard school in the notoriously elitist necromancy department, barely scraping by for several years before they begrudgingly give me my necromancer degree, all so that I can go sit on the beach and revive ediacaran fossils on the beach and look at the creatures.

Spending years infuriated at wizard school in the notoriously lax druidry department, getting no grant money and having to practically teach myself for my dissertation before they remember to give me my druid degree, all so that I can go sit on the beach with you and ensure that the ediacaran fossils on the beach you revive are able to fulfill their dietary needs and won't destabilize the supernatural ecosystem.

Spending years confused at wizard school in the notoriously bureaucratic department of non-Euclidean geometry, constantly feeling lost and disoriented before I finally submit everything I need for my Geometer’s degree, all so that I can seal the two of you away in a spacetime loop and give you eternity and a day with your Edicarian Necromancy.

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

Getting plowed is for the country folk. Here in the city we call it being taken to pound town. And if it's a place with decent public transit, getting railed.

happy mother’s day to that mom who sold y/n to one direction