Call me Yan. Or don't call me, I guess 🇺🇦

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

i hate public bathrooms for all the obvious reasons but also because one time somebody in the next stall silently reached under and untied my shoe

let’s all crash our cars into walls

Limos are such a stupid status symbol. Like yeah I'm rich. Did you see how long my car

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!