Relieving Quotes

Shame causes people to withdraw from relationships, to become isolated, and they compensate for deep feelings of shame with attitudes of superiority, bullying, self-deprecation, or obsessive perfectionism.

The very thing we fear about conflict—its potential to damage relationships—is exactly what we get from chronic conflict avoidance.

Going out of your way to hide your car is less convenient than simply asking me not to drive it while you’re gone. But if you hate conflict, you pay that cost.

Inviting conflict by being honest with me about your feelings would head off the problem before it becomes a bigger deal.

Your feelings will not disappear; nor do you want them to. You need all your feelings to signal you about the dangers and opportunities you face from without and within. But you don’t want your feelings to overwhelm you, and labeling helps prevent that.

“Sad.” “Furious.” “Disrespected.” Whatever your emotion, you will feel some immediate relief just by putting your feelings into words, whether in your mind or out loud.

If someone is lonely, they may be more susceptible to the sexual advances of a psychopath—even if their instinct tells them something about this new person seems off or, as is sometimes the case, they seem "too good to be true."

One of the reasons for adolescents’ high risk for suicide is because when they feel pain, they lack the life experience to know it is temporary.

Emotional reactions provide a critical summary of our past experiences with a situation or event, and this summary is experienced as “gut” feeling that can make decision-making process more efficient. It is not enough to know what should be done; it is also necessary to feel it.

You may not believe you have any rights if yours weren’t respected growing up. For example, you have a right to privacy, to say “no,” to be addressed with courtesy and respect, to change your mind or cancel commitments, to ask people you hire to work the way you want, to ask for help, to be left alone, to conserve your energy, and not to answer a question, the phone, or an email.

It’s important to notice patterns in our behavior that push away love. We can take an open stance and consider all the ways we may be withholding, shutting down, being overly critical, focusing on form, or picking fights with our partner.

Do you ever feel fearful that not doing something will cause a blowup, make the person leave you, or even result in violence?

It also indicates how treatment is not about exposing the fragile true self, which most of us naturally fear, but helping the individual move on, both letting go of the unhealthy portions of the false self and building a healthy replacement.

Social media in general have given rise to a wave of new, nameless feelings, many based on how disconnected we often feel even while being only a text or tweet away from just about everyone we've ever met