/I honestly doubt this. Passive aggressive people typically know exactly what they are doing and how infuriating it can be. The whole goal of passive aggression is to instigate fury and over reaction in the person you are needling while getting to play the victim/good guy/reasonable one./
This ! This right here is spot on ! From someone who has experience of this , you hit it right . This is how Daneel (even though she is a questionable person!) comes out looking like the evil wife everytime , while Jensen is the hard done to husband who never does anything wrong. I take a story for example of Jensen saying Daneel got on at him to clear up after himself and everyone was quick to jump on her for even asking him , talking to him that way . Ive been married 28 years and i can tell you that conversations on the same lines have happened in this house too ! But my husband isnt jensen ackles so no one bats an eyelid , in fact women would probably agree that my husband is old enough and capable enough to put his dishes in the dishwasher or pick his clothes up after him , but Jensen is excluded from that ! Why ? Yes hes handsome but hes not a higher being ! The stories and the way he tells them are always aimed in that passive way of look what she did when i got home , poor me , and everyone goes with it . Daneel gets the raw end of the comments while Jensen is pandered to , exactly what he had aimed for . You are exactly right in your comment !
Thanks! I agree and I bet this sort of dynamic is something a lot of women can relate to, actually. I’ve seen this play out with a lot of couples I know. I’ve been in a relationship myself in the past where I endured that kind of passive aggressive manipulation. I think those of us that are a little older and wiser are more likely to have this kind of experience and perspective that makes it a little easier to call out the bullshit.
I think passive aggressive people intentionally seek out the kind of partner that they know will react poorly in that situation. Maybe even someone who is indeed a little problematic themselves to heighten the “poor me” effect. I think most of us know Danneel isn’t a saint by any means. Jensen is hardly the only person she’s disparaged as a “joke” and the whole OTH reboot debacle where she was willing to cut out key actors from the original show (just like they did to Jared) was pretty telling as well. However that doesn’t mean she’s Satan or that at least some of her behaviors aren’t stemming from this kind of dynamic. I call passive aggression “crazy making” because it can make you lash out impulsively to regain a sense of control, but then you wind up in this cycle of feeling embarrassed/self hating which then leads back to that feeling of resentment because you KNOW the other party is manipulating you with that shit and then the cycle starts all over again. It’s almost a form of gaslighting when you really think about it.
