Thinking how I could come up with creative ways of showing love, affection and care to people in my life. I am able to decide how to make them feel special but I deliberately hold back on it afraid that I'd be doing too much. In secure relations, this issue should never be there and that is what makes me rethink every other relation I hold dear to my heart. Like am I truly safe here? Does my heart feel like frolicking around the waves of their heartbeat? These are the questions my anxious-avoidant attachment style still seeks answers to. I wonder how it will be to show who I am to someone who has the steadiness to see it, to view me as I am. To make me be so real, I feel surreal about it. I might be going into the idealistic territory again but why should I think of life in less than ideal terms? It is almost like cursing myself to a lesser than ideal life. If thoughts were fuel, would I be the passenger in the seat of love? I could only hope to find it all out. Life is a stage, I'll play my part and find it.
