I wouldn't say god fears me but he wouldn't fuck m

will never forget the day of the charlie kirk shooting bc i found out from my direct report who just doubled over laughing at his computer suddenly and i was like what's up and he said "charlie kirk just got shot?" and i went and told my 85 year old work friend and HE was like "i don't care, he had it coming" (this man is a franciscan friar btw) (a literal man of the cloth) (you'd think they'd be the only people who morally have to be opposed to political violence but he was like "as far as my morals are concerned..... i don't want the guy who did it to get the death penalty" 🤷‍♂️) and then i had to go to ketamine therapy where i got high as fuck bc i had a little late summer cold and had taken a sudafed a bit beforehand and saw a vision of tilda swinton basically agreeing that political violence is fine and i afterward went to mcdonald's where they were playing all of sabrina carpenter's man's best friend album with literally none of the swears bleeped. and i felt like alice in wonderland the whole time.

Losing my mind because I can't find that Tumblr post about Moby Dick that included the phrase "the whale is a fish and he is my friend," someone have pity on me and assure me that I didn't dream this.

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

The cool thing about death note is you could feasibly explain the basic premise of it like the mechanics of the note and also L and lights weird homoerotic shit and you would have a pretty good idea of what the entire plot is like without ever having to explain the terrifying floating clown monster

a deer is like a forest horse if you think about it

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

ive never wanted to send a death threat over a game before

tautological wordle answer

posts that make you open wordle

Oh boy better go try today’s wordle

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay that was odd

I don't know how I'm ever expected to be normal again after watching this. this video is already lodging itself deep within my vocabulary as I type

Hey it looks like you reblogged "No rush, The bear videogame" slowdown! there no rush here. This is a cigarette, take it. Watch it again before you reblog it again

You are mentally ill, and that's amazing

love or hate flowery you cannot deny his impact on the vocal stimming community. his jarona

everyone has replied to this with a completely different voice clip

special mention to everyone ive seen quoting that one floradinn "and i been liiiiiiickin it"

no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood