Bf took a good photo of me and his parent's dog.
cherry valley forever
Xuebing Du

shark vs the universe
taylor price
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

romaā
trying on a metaphor
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola
todays bird

oozey mess
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
KIROKAZE

Origami Around
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@redwizardofgay
Bf took a good photo of me and his parent's dog.

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Women with big curly red hair always have like 12 gay guy friends why is that
INCREDIBLE response
"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.
And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.
The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.
noncon friendship
Coworkers
Your friendās boyfriend
On tumblr, you can say "don't stick a fork in that electric outlet in the wall, getting electrocuted that way is really bad for you", and people will reply with "but what if I use a knife? Is that dangerous too or am I allowed to do that?" And another one is like "op is lying it's actually 100% safe fun and cute uwu" because they live in a house with the electricity cut off. A third one goes "oh my god I had no idea I've been risking my life every single time I poke a fork at the wall. I just like the way the wallpaper feels when I puncture it. No wonder mom yells at me every time I do it! D:"
And then it explodes into an argument concerning whether or not getting electrocuted is inherently, ontologically bad for you or not, because someone shared their story of how getting electroconvulsive therapy cured their depression and saved their life, and therefore OP is wrong for implying that going out of your way to get electrocuted is always wrong and bad in every situation.

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they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of
A fun fact about me is that it feels really good to cum inside me
a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial
WHAT??? LOL
what's not clicking

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You if bugs didn't exist
Stranger Things season 1: beneath the superficial image of āpeace and prosperityā in 1980s small-town America, there was the painful legacy of countless atrocities committed by the American government in the name of āfreedom.ā
Stranger Things season 4: evil Russians (not Soviets) have sent our All-American Hero to the gulags which apparently still exist in the 1980s and itās up to us to save him šŗšøš¦ š«”
Thereās probably a term that already exists for this but if there isnāt Iām gonna call it āRamboficationā in honor of its probably most well known instance: Rambo First Blood was about a soldier, John Rambo (thatās his actual name Iām not doing a bit), returning home from the Vietnam war, so traumatized by war that he brought the war home with him to a small town, unable to adapt to life without strict military discipline and hierarchy. Subsequent Rambo movies were about how John Rambo was the only supersoldier tough enough and patriotic enough to kill faceless hordes of dastardly foreign commies.
Ergo, āRamboficationā is the process of a series starting with a relatively nuanced or subversive narrative before its sequels become a shallow embrace of the very narrative it originally subverted. It happens surprisingly often!
So Pokemon Go came out and I legit walked around for three hours in the dark, met like five of my neighbors also looking for Pokemon, and saw a grown ass man trudge into a pond. What a time to be alive.
nintendoās plan to make everyone get out the house is working spectacularly if a bit odd.
āWorking spectacularly, if a bit oddā is Nintendoās entire goddamn business model.
Why? Why would you do this to me? What do you mean 2010s nostalgia? Excuse me? Hello? @2010s-nostalgia
Sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone

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Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.
Funnily enough, Iām not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean youāre looking at an ambush predator.
These are the beans of a killer, Bella.
ok well ive had my fun with this little game nothing can top making indiana jones sound like he's elvis trying not to cum
You really weren't lying