twink (derogatory)

dreamt that walmart was doing some kind of sale where they partnered with a company called "freevaginaphotos.com" and when i bought something they also printed out a picture of someones vagina and gave it to me

you do not get to destroy other peoples bodies

thank you for reminding me, i was about to destroy someones body until i saw this

Man at my job just told me to “hold your little horsies just a little longer ☺️” about the task I’ve been waiting for him to complete or at the very least update me on for six weeks. Brendan, I will fuck your adult son. You’re gonna start seeing me at family Christmas. Horsies in tow.

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

doxxing myself. I’m on a boat in the middle of the big blue sea near some islands and dolphins and other random nonsense

Am I missing extremely important context

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

If you regret a permanent body alteration you got and your immediate thought is "raise the legal age for everybody who can do this" instead of "Maybe I, specifically, was a dipshit" you need to get Gotten by a mountain lion