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Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

# ILYA ROZANOV IS A COMEDIAN PT. 02

I love the way Toothless is just standing there listening to Hiccup’s geeky ramblings and then at the very end he’s just like 🤨

Hiccup: great! Glad we could agree on that.

Toothless: Who tf is “we”?

It starts out as a joke—

Random Twitter Poster: What if Bruce Wayne was Batman?

Another poster: Nah that’d make no sense. Bruce Wayne (don’t hate me I love him but still) is a fucking idiot. What’d make more sense is Dick Grayson. He visits Gotham enough, he has WORK muscles not decorative ones, and he can be scary as shit sometimes.

Poster #3: To add onto this what if Bruce Wayne was Nightwing? I just feel like they have VERY similar energy. Hard core party boy.

OP: OH MY GOD ITS ALL STARTING TO MAKE SENSE NOW?? So if Dick Grayson is Batman, and Bruce Wayne is Nightwing, that means that theres a possibility the ENTIRE family is involved in crime fighting.

wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day

put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)

if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)

rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can

go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through

spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again

curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)

eat everything

drink lots of water

it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them

you are lovely

i bet there is still a box of crayons in your house somewhere (if not you can get them cheap during back-to-school sales); find them and use them (maybe while watching ridiculous anime)

sunshine if you can manage it or just a sun lamp trust me it matters more than you think especially in winter

hugs even if they are stuffed animals or your pet or your pillow whatever is on hand

if you’ve got a favorite lotion/soap/thing that is scented use it liberally

cry if you need, if it doesn’t start by itself or if you don’t want to attract attention put on a sad movie so you have an excuse

write this down to pull out on future bad days:

it is okay to have a day where you don’t get things done

it is okay not to have a reason for feeling bad

taking care of yourself is a worthwhile use of time

“Perhaps you’d like to see my pets. They were ALL … rescues.” 

“And as always, gentlemen, our profits will be … donated.”