Ray The Idiot

i am dollgender (also dollkin!! im a porcelain doll :3) and agenderflux, and im ace with no particular label to describe my romantic preference because to me, people are just neat-

i use tone indicators and have a typing quirk(?) 

mid 20s

Tags to blacklist for me are: Unus Annus, shifting/shifting mentions, south park, nsfw (minus blood, unless it is irl gore). tag with: 'raydnl' (minus the parenthesis.)

im neurodivergent (adhd, anxiety, sensory processing, and possibly autism but not confirmed) 

DNI if: proship, terf, anti lgbtqia+, racist, anti neopronouns, ableist, anti objectum, anti xenogender, basic dni things

~kin list~

Rachel Gardner (AOD) 

Emmet (TLM)

Tommy Coolatta (HLVRAI)

Softie (Fnf softmod) 

Cecil Gershwin Palmer (WTNV) 

note: i am fine with "doubles" for reasons that contains an essay's worth of information 

i have rp blogs:

@//shining-comets-rp (always active)

@//something-fragile-approaches (semi active) 

@//tiny-bot-zone (dormant for now)

@//trafficlight-trio-rpblog (dormant for a bit)

@//dollhouse-of-three

@//night-entity-dark

@ //sock-puppet-multimuse (Newest and most active!)

And two secret rp blogs in the works that i will add here when finished! :3 

and finally, i have a self-shipping blog! its not that active, but…i post there sometimes- 

Leafy had been itchy since the BFDIA finale.

She had no way to explain it, the itching was coming from such an odd place. Everywhere she scratched, it wasn't enough, like the the itching was coming from under her skin itself.

It hurt a lot, driving her almost mad as she tried to satisfy the itch. 

Of course, this led to a horrible habit, Leafy beginning to pick her arms and body, sores forming from her sharp claws tearing into them. The worst part…was that it worked. For a while at least. 

Chlorophyll stained under her nails, dying them a morbid shade of green, a reminder of her unending torment. When her claws were no longer enough, her teeth were painted the same shade as well, biting where she could reach. 

She felt almost like an animal, snapping at a threat she couldn't see. 

It was unending.

Bite. Scrape. Kick. Twitch. Scrape. Kick. Bite. Tear. 

Scream. 

Leafy felt a bile almost as acidic as Rocky's rise to the back of her throat as she grimaced, a wriggling mass in her mouth as she wasted no time spitting it out. She could not hold back her vomit, turning to the side and emptying her lunch out onto the purple grass.

She coughed and spat, her attention being draw back towards the wriggling mass. Her face paled as she realized what she had torn from her body.

Leaf Miners. 

Massive, white, writhing Leaf Miners.

They pathetically squirmed, aimless now that they were disconnected from their host. 

Leafy stared at the parasites for a good minute, panic rising from her feet before she bolted towards a bush. 

She needed a yoyleberry. NOW.

If she died, no one was going to save her. No one was going to remember her, or bother to bring her back. 

She had to survive.

She NEEDED to survive.

Her shaky hands searched through the bushes, already starting to feel faint.

Adrenaline, it was just adrenaline. She had to tell herself that, she didn't want to think that she was dying already. The itching was already starting to feel so severe. 

Her mind flashed to the pile of little parasites, her breath quickening with each awful thought of what they were doing to her body. It scared her.

Little, tiny maggots tunneling through her flesh, making themselves at home inside her soon to be corpse of a body. 

Growing little by little, until she was no longer herself. Until she was but a vessel for these monsters, taking her over completely. 

Her mind would no longer be hers, she would be but only a puppet. 

Leafy's hand cupped tightly around what she had been looking for, sharp breaths leaving her as she staggered in place, before she tore open the berry, devouring it like a rabid wolf.

Tears slipped down her face as she tried not to choke, failing as she swallowed too fast. She hacked and spasamed, purple liquid spewing from her mouth slightly as her body already began to turn grey. 

She felt wriggling under her skin as it became dense with yoyle metal, before feeling multiple tiny little pops as she fully transformed. It was unpleasant, but at least the yoyle metal was filling in the tunnels the parasites had made.

After a moment, the leaf collapsed on the ground, her breathing finally slowing down, the last few tears dripping down her face as she came to a chilling realization.

Nobody would ever help her again.

The only person she could rely on for as long as she lived…would have to be herself. 

Leafy let out a small, shaky sigh at this.

She was alone.

right, so i guess it takes place in early bfb, and im some kind of doll object, the others rotate between calling me Dollie and Plushie. It's an elimination, and I'm the one with the most votes, so I get sent to the exit and meet up with the other exitors, this is post rejoin so Leafy isnt there.

a few days pass and Four shows up to give us math work sheets and I point blank tell him to his face that I'm not doing it, and that "I'd rather get cut up and have all my stuffing pulled out of my body again then do your worksheets" to which Four is visibly concerned and is like "when the fuck did that happen" to which Pencil speaks up and tells him in bfdia Golfball vivisected me.

so yeah then comes the exit escape and everyone is sprinting to get out of there but Four is trying to stop us, so I decide to jump on him and try to strangle him while the others escaped. And i manage to claw up Four's face pretty good but now I'm stuck in the exit. After Four leaves and I'm stuck, I decide the best course of action, for some reason, is to completely trash the math classroom Four had us all trapped in, clawing the walls and and shattering the chalkboard and such.

i was honestly kinda a little shit in this dream

of course, little did I know that One was watching me this whole time, though apparently she was scared of me because I was "more of a feral freak" then the other objects, so she didn't show herself. After the period of rage and destruction, I slowly calmed down, exploring the rest of the weird "school" Four made. I'd literally break down every door I'd come across.

But since I was alone and no one was around to witness me, something about me changed. I was less angry and more sad, like my fight was a mask I put up so that no one would think I was weak. And I remember saying something like "everyone thought I was holding the chains wrapped around my neck the whole time, but it was keeping me bound in place."

but I end up making my way to the kitchen/home ec classroom, making food for myself. At some point it's been a month and we're at the point where Six and the others have arrived in the exit. Needle hears me softly singing and ends up finding me. She tells me she didnt know I could sing, and when I realize she's been watching me I try to put the mask back on and tell her that I wasn't singing. of course, the mask has been off so long at this point that it no longer fits comfortably, so I couldnt go back to the way I had been acting.

and she seems to realize this, putting a hand on my shoulder and giving me silent permission to just let go.

then the whole thing with Three happens again, but when she throws Six into a wall, I end up losing it. Before Six has the chance to do anything, I lunge at Three and tell the others to run, pinning her against a wall. I wanna say that we were evenly matched but she kinda kicked my ass. But instead of zapping me or using her powers we just kinda struggled for a bit, before the two of us started to slow down, realizing something about each other.

we carry the same energy somewhat, and I realize that she's wearing a mask too. She's full of hurt, and rage, but she's also tired. And when the two of us finally stopped, we broke down into quiet tears. We end up leaning on each other, and Three ends up making a comment about how I'm "really soft". I tell her that I used to think it was a bad thing and that I was sick of being taken advantage of. and then she pulls me close and we end up falling asleep together

and the dream literally ends like thag. Like. Hey brain is there something you wanna talk about /lighthearted