A two headed Snake. A Liar with two faces and a split tongue.

It's midnight on a Sunday and my dash is several reblogs of an unscrollably-long and ridiculously well cited article on hagfish sex. I'm never leaving this website.

it's shit i didn't even register before transitioning too. i went out with my friends to a diner yesterday, one is a girl and the other gets clocked as a girl, and when we went in and they asked for the name of the table they asked Me specifically. like looked dead in my eyes and asked Me. i was addressed when it orders and payment first as well. like. Damn. Okay. Shit

trans women who top love dressing like homeless vietnam veterans. it’s like their version of drinking water

"I'm retired from dickslinging" "we need you for one last job.. a thighjob" "I'm a ronin, a soldier without a nation... you have to host"

the last bushi-doll

mice are having sex in my walls :(

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

you fucked those mice yourself

I fucked those mice myself

Well, at least she died doing what she loved—getting her dick sucked.

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

bugs bunny is not real 

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

hate when I rb a post that i think is just good but it turns out it's vaguing like fifteen other posts and now it looks like I've take a Stance even though I just woke up and haven't even been born yet truly

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it's also evil

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

You meet god

Whole, in one gulp.

Father of the Muffin Boy

Car's haunted

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

into the sky, where it turns into stars

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

....Ah