Pour Yorick - Alas

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at

"I'm not boiling the oil but I'm boiling him because the water in his body -- " SO DOES THE WATER IN A CHICKEN WING WHEN I STICK IT IN THE DEEP FRYER, BUT WE DON'T CALL IT DEEP BOILED CHICKEN WINGS, DO WE? Have some fucking linguistic standards. Fry That Man.

now this is the discourse i come here for