7h
constantly dissociating; like there are layers to my mind i can't map out; like there is someone angry and yelling at someone who is sad and i'm just watching it and trying to feel numb instead of afraid
like i drift in this chaotic superimposition of my actions, my desires, my intentions, my analysis and scrutinization of those things, and my fear of how others perceive me, never really embodying any of it never really spearheading my own personhood or understanding myself or feeling certain of why i'm doing most of the things i do and even trying to write this down now seems clumsy and insufficient and suspect and i cannot correctly relay it no matter what i do but i need to and i'm just a broken mirror with half its pieces still in place
