Who Again?

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

real life texture glitch

Domesticated rock has returned to the wild and become feral

Hmm hmm hmm. oxiclean loves her for who she is but turmeric cannot help but change her

martian tgirl who thinks she has to move to earth and be a dom because that's all anyone seems to want from her but you tell her you're happy to go to her instead and you hold her gently and give her space to be vulnerable and soft and tired and something in her breaks, some wall she's built up inside and she cries for the first time in years. and you tell her it's okay and you stroke her hair softly and you reassure her that you're not going to leave just because she showed weakness in front of you, that you genuinely care for her as a person and you're going to be by her side to support her no matter what. and you mean it.

Get ready for the most tranquil rollercoaster ride of your life

This is exactly how physics does not work.

Why didn’t she just use the lipstick on the door? 

IM FUAKCING DYING I CANNTO DO THIS IM CRYING TEARS. REAL TEARS.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE ADD THE GIF OF SCOOBY DOO WITH THE TRASH CAN LIDS TO THIS POST

Oh, wow.