[ID: blurry picture of marker on a wall in all caps that says, "be so completely yourself that no one is attracted to you or wants to employ you." end ID]

i love you rice with some bullshit

She'll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it

#billions of humans have thought this same thing over the course of the species’ history #and they were right

save me spring... trees blossoming again save me... save me days getting longer and sun shining brighter... flowers blooming everywhere save me....

i started playing this in my room and across the hall i hear my roommate go “….ugh ……whatever”

Ripley's What If I Didn't Go Home and Just Kept Driving

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,